FALL MOVIE PREVIEW 2025

     The Venice Film Festival is going on right now, and a bunch of the big Fall movie releases were shown there. This always pisses me off, because I have to wait until November 7th to see Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein while a lucky few already watched it (all of the critics basically said that it's good not great). The Rock's film, The Smashing Machine, about a UFC fighter, got good reviews at the festival, as did Yorgos Lanthimos' re-make of Save the Green Planet (which was a bad movie), Bugonia, which stars a head-shaved Emma Stone. Just reading about all of these new movies (that will eventually be released for the common man to finally watch) got me excited for the new Fall movie season. Here's a preview:

SEPTEMBER

THE CONJURING: LAST RITES (September 5): This is the 10th installment in this series. I guess they're counting the spin-offs like The Nun and The Nun 2, which were actually fairly decent. The setting for the first Nun movie was really cool: a creepy, dilapidated convent in the Romanian hills. The setting in this one is a haunted house a family moves into in Pennsylvania. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga return as The Warrens. It's based on The Smurl Haunting in West Pittston in the 1970's. The real life Warrens investigated and found 4 entities there, one of them demonic. If you read about it, you find quotes like this: "their daughter Dawn was nearly raped by the entity." Now that's a fucking movie! Ghost rape. I have heard of Pittston, PA. They have the Tomato Festival there every year. They used to have a tomato fight during the festival, but it was deemed too much of a waste of food and discontinued. Now they do a spaghetti eating contest. I wonder if the demon entity is still around. Maybe he could cause some havoc at that spaghetti eating contest.  

SPINAL TAP 2: THE END CONTINUES (September 12): The band is back, finally returning for a sequel 41 years later. That has to be the longest between a movie and its sequel, right? At least, with the same cast and director. I haven't watched the original in years, though I still remember "Smell the Glove" and the dwarfs circling the miniature Stonehenge. I doubt this movie will be even half as good as the original, but that should still make it pretty good. Seriously, what's the last great comedy movie that came out? Borat 2 and Palm Springs are the only recent good comedy movies I can think of, and those came out 5 years ago. Is the comedy film dead? 

THE HISTORY OF SOUND (September 12): After Gladiator 2, I thought Paul Mescal might keep going the Hollywood big time route. Nope! He plays a gay guy that falls in love with a fellow student at a music school in 1917. It played at Cannes but didn't get great reviews. 

THE LONG WALK (September 12): This is a Stephen King novella, collected in The Bachman Books, a collection I've never read (The Running Man is also in that collection...and coincidentally this Fall there's a new Running Man movie). I'm guessing King wrote this one first and then was, like, let me write one where they run! This is apparently the first novel he ever wrote. He started it as a Freshman at the University of Maine. It takes place in the future where's there's some sort of dystopian walking contest where only the winner lives. The movie stars Cooper Hoffman from Licorice Pizza and was directed by Francis Lawrence, who might have a crush on Jennifer Lawrence (he directed 3 Hunger Games movies and Red Sparrow). 

A BIG BOLD BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY (September 19): This is Margot Robbie's first starring role since Barbie. One has to wonder...what the heck has she been doing for the last few years? This also has Colin Farrel. It's about two people that meet at a wedding, fall in love, and travel through time. Okay. Sounds awful.

THE LOST BUS (September 19): Matthew McConaughey stars as a bus driver stuck in the middle of the Camp Fire in California, a wildfire that destroyed a whole town and killed 85 people back in 2018. It's directed by Paul Greengrass, who loves putting us through misery once again, as if real life wasn't enough (he's one of the few that boldly made a movie about 9/11...plus he made a movie about that mass shooter in Norway that killed 69 kids at a summer camp on an island). Greengrass also directed a few of those Jason Bourne movies, so he at least knows how to direct an action movie, which should help.

ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER (September 26): This is probably the #1 movie I'm looking forward to this Fall. Paul Thomas Anderson is writing and directing this loose adaptation of Thomas Pynchon's Vineland. It stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Benicio Del Toro. DiCaprio has said in interviews before that his one big regret is passing on starring in Boogie Nights. Well, he's finally in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie, 28 years later. I did read Vineland but barely remember it besides the main character being an ex-hippie, conspiracy nut in Northern California. The trailers don't make it look good, but Anderson's last film, Licorice Pizza, was one of his best, so hopefully he keeps rolling with the good ones.

ELEANOR THE GREAT (September 26): Scarlett Johannsen directs her first film, this one about a woman played by June Squibb that fakes being a Holocaust survivor. June Squibb is 95 years old in real life. How the heck did a 95 year old star in a movie? I think most 95 year olds are drooling in a wheelchair.  

THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 (September 26): This is the 4th entry of these Strangers movies, which is kind of confusing because this is Chapter 2. They're slasher films where strangers kill people in a secluded location for no reason. Chapter 1 featured Riverdale's Madelaine Petsch, who's character survived, and she's back in this one. This is supposedly a trilogy, and they filmed all 3 in 52 days in 2022 in Slovakia. Seriously, after the first one that starred Liv Tyler in 2008, did anyone ask for 4 more?

OCTOBER

PLAY DIRTY (October 1): Shane Black is co-writing and directing this straight to Amazon Prime movie. It stars Mark Wahlberg and Lakeith Stanfield. Black is a legend (he co-wrote the scripts for Lethal Weapon, The Monster Squad, and The Last Boy Scout), but he hasn't made anything worthwhile since The Nice Guys (which he co-wrote and directed). The last movie he co-wrote and directed, The Predator, was lousy. How hard is it to make a Predator movie? This is a heist movie, so it seems to be more in his wheelhouse. I had heard rumors once that he wanted to make The Nice Guys 2. Oh, please God, make it happen. That was one of the most entertaining movies ever made.  

ANEMONE (October 3): Daniel Day Lewis retired from acting but he's back. The reason? His son is directing this movie. The plot has a guy going into the woods to find his brother. Apparently, his brother is one of those Unabomber type nutjobs, thus why he lives in the woods. Daniel Day Lewis' last acting role was in Paul Thomas Anderson's Phantom Thread back in 2017. 

ROOFMAN (October 3): Derek Cianfrance is a fantastic writer/director that doesn't do much, which is a shame. He made two good movies, Blue Valentine and The Place Beyond the Pines, and an interesting HBO mini-series, I Know This Much is True. He did make the dull movie The Light Between Oceans. His latest stars Channing Tatum as a real life serial robber that mostly robbed McDonald's by drilling through the roof, hence the title. He escaped from prison and lived in a Toys R Us. I kind of think a documentary about this dude would be more entertaining. And, like, didn't Toys R Us have security cameras? They didn't notice some guy was living in their store? If you read about it, it says at night when the Toys R Us was closed he would ride a bike around the aisles. It also says during the holidays he decided to move out of Toys R Us and live at a Circuit City. Oh my God, there's no way any of this true. And, what? Circuit City wasn't busy during the holidays? There are more holes in this tall tale than the ones he drilled in the McDonald's roofs. 

THE SMASHING MACHINE (October 3): The Rock stars as a UFC fighter you've never heard of, Mark Kerr. Instead of him just, you know, acting, they decided to give him heavy makeup to look like Frankenstein. Maybe if I watch the movie it won't be jarring, but it sure is when watching the trailer. On the plus side, this got great reviews at the Venice Film Festival. It also stars Emily Blunt. The director is Benny Safdie, who just played the villain in Happy Gilmore 2. He's more well known for directing Uncut Gems and Good Times with his brother. The big question is: will the Academy take The Rock seriously and nominate him? 

AFTER THE HUNT (October 10): Luca Guadagnino is one of my favorite directors these days even though I didn't care much for his last picture, Queer. Challengers, however, was the best movie of 2024, and his HBO series, We Are Who We Are, was so great I still think about it, even though nobody ever heard about it or watched it. This film already played at the Venice Film Festival and got savaged by a critic at Deadline. It stars Julia Roberts and Andrew Garfield. It's about a sexual abuse scandal at a college. Luca Guadagnino is set to re-make American Psycho next, which should be more interesting, albeit pointless. He's already re-made two classics (Suspiria and La Piscine) to varying success, but I still wish he'd focus more on originals. 

KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN (October 10): From the director of Chicago, Bill Condon, comes this new musical adaptation starring Jennifer Lopez. Kander and Ebb wrote the musical, based on a novel from 1976. Kander and Ebb are mostly known for Cabaret and Chicago. I'm guessing this was one of their lesser musicals, though it did play on Broadway in 1993. It's about a prisoner in Argentina who hallucinates about a Spider Woman. No wonder this wasn't a smash hit on Broadway.

TRON: ARES (October 10): Tron is still a thing? I mean, I do realize Hollywood is out of ideas...but another Tron? I never even saw the belated sequel, Tron: Legacy, that came out 28 years after the original. This one's only 15 years after the 2nd one, though. They're getting closer together! Soon they'll be a Tron every day in the future. This one stars Jared Leto, Evan Peters, and Scully from The X-Files. Jeff Bridges is back, too. 

A HOUSE OF DYNAMITE (October 10): Kathryn Bigelow is back directing after 8 long years (her last movie was Detroit...but she's mostly famous for being the first woman to win a directing Oscar for The Hurt Locker). This one is about a missile attack from an unknown place and how the White House handles it. Idris Elba stars. 

BALLAD OF A SMALL PLAYER (October 15): Conclave director Edward Berger's latest stars Colin Farrell as a gambler in Macau, China. Berger also directed All Quiet on the Western Front, so his movies lately have been pretty popular with the Academy. It's based on a novel and hits theaters two weeks before Netflix.

BLACK PHONE 2 (October 17): Maybe I should watch The Black Phone? I did read the Joe Hill short story the first movie was adapted from. There wasn't much to it, was there? They certainly added some heft to it if they're already making a sequel to a movie based on a short story. Ethan Hawke is back in this. I'm more excited for Joe Hill's new novel coming out in October, his first novel since 2016's The Fireman. It's 896 pages and about a group of kids that summon a dragon with a spell and soon realize that they have to give it a sacrifice every year.

GOOD FORTUNE (October 17): Remember Aziz Ansari got taken down by #MeToo and pretty much disappeared? Well, he's back, writing and directing this film starring Seth Rogen, Keanu Reeves, and Sandra Oh. It's a body swapping film and Keanu Reeves plays an angel. 

BLUE MOON (October 17): Richard Linklater directs this film starring Ethan Hawke as song lyricist Lorenz Hart. Linklater had a different movie that premiered at Cannes in May and that hasn't even come out yet. This one is about how Lorenz Hart's former creative partner, Richard Rogers, went on to become the powerhouse Broadway team Rogers & Hammerstein. The film takes place during the premiere of the musical Oklahoma!.

BUGONIA (October 24): This is a re-make of a really bad movie, Save the Green Planet!. It's a South Korean film that I recently just watched. Why Yorgos Lanthimos decided to re-make it is beyond me. It stars Jesse Plemmons and Emma Stone. The story is that two crackpot losers kidnap a rich CEO because they think they're an alien. Stone plays the CEO and the big story is that they shave her head in the movie. I guess it's a big deal when a famous actress shaves her head? God forbid a woman not have long hair. The horror! Our culture is fucking stupid. 

FRANKENSTEIN (October 27): Guillermo Del Toro adapts Frankenstein for Netflix. Stupidly, it's not coming to Netflix until after Halloween, but they are releasing it in theaters a few days earlier. Oscar Isaac plays the Dr. and Jacob Elordi (from Entourage and Saltburn fame) is the monster. I get why Del Toro is making this, but c'mon, how many adaptations of Frankenstein do we need? 

SPRINGSTEIN: DELIVERY ME FROM NOWHERE (October 24): Jeremy Allen White, from The Bear and Shameless, plays Bruce Springstein in the 80's while making his album Nebraska. It was written and directed by Scott Cooper, who last made that bad Netflix film, The Pale Blue Eye, that had Christian Bale investigating a murder at West Point in the 1800's. Cooper is probably best known for Out of the Furnace with Christian Bale and Crazy Heart with Jeff Bridges. Usually these music biopics work if the singer did drugs or had a wild life or something, right? Wasn't Bruce Springstein's life just boring suburbia? Jeremy Allen White has already won two Emmys for The Bear so now the story is will he win an Oscar for this?

NOVEMBER

DIE, MY LOVE (November 7): This one stars Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson. Lawrence plays a mother who's depressed after having a baby. It's directed by Lynne Ramsay, who made one good movie I've seen, You Were Never Really Here, that starred Joquin Phoenix. This movie played at Cannes and everyone said Lawrence is fantastic in this...but this is the type of movie nobody wants to watch.

NUREMBERG (November 7): Another depressing film that I doubt anyone wants to watch. This is about the Nazis on trial. Russell Crowe and Rami Malek star. It's written and directed by James Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt previously wrote the scripts for those 2 Murder Mystery movies that starred Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston. You wouldn't think that guy would be making a serious movie about the Nazis. He also co-wrote next year's Scream 7. The most shocking thing about that movie is Kevin Williamson is directing it but not writing it. Also...do we really need Scream 7? And...there have actually been 7 Scream movies? 

PREDATOR: BADLANDS (November 7): Prey, the last live action Predator movie, was awesome. It also went straight to Hulu and I doubt few know it exists. This one is from the same director, Dan Trachtenberg. It stars Elle Fanning. She teams up with a Predator on an alien planet to fight other Predators. I watched the trailer and it doesn't look good. The "good" Predator walks around without a mask which is fucking dumb. 

SENTIMENTAL VALUE (November 7): Joachim Trier had a big hit with 2021's The Worst Person in the World. He's back with the same star, Renate Reinsve. Stellan Skarsgard plays a famous movie director. His daughters attempt to reunite with him when their mother dies. 

JAY KELLY (November 14): George Clooney and Adam Sandler star in Noah Baumbach's latest, which is coming to Netflix after a few weeks in theaters. This played at the Venice Film Festival and got decent reviews, though nobody raved about it. Clooney plays a famous actor and Sandler is his assistant. 

NOW YOU SEE ME; NOW YOU DON'T (November 14): I never saw the first two movies in this series. First off, they look fucking dumb. Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson are magicians but also bank robbers? Is that the plot? Obviously, somebody liked the first two if they made a third one. You know what would be great? A comedy about a magician starring Will Ferrell. Granted, his days of making classic, Anchorman style comedies are over, though. 

THE RUNNING MAN (November 14): Not that Schwarzenegger's Running Man is a classic or anything, but it's a pretty famous movie, so why bother remaking it? They remake anything remotely famous, though. The weird thing is that the trailer for this makes it out to be an over-the-top comedy. Isn't this about a game show where you have to kill everyone to win? How is that funny? Edgar Wright is directing this, and he used to be one of my favorite directors. His 3 films with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are great. The last movie he directed, Last Night in Soho, was just okay. Replacing Schwarzenegger in this is Glen Powell. The Stephen King story famously ends with an airplane crashing into a building. The original movie nixed that scene and that was before 9/11, so I doubt we'll see that in this one, too.

WICKED: FOR GOOD (November 21): Considering the first Wicked was a big hit, I wouldn't be surprised if down the line they somehow concoct a 3rd one. The first one ended with the Wicked Witch becoming the Wicked Witch. I never read the book, but the first movie wasn't any good. The songs were average at best and the story made no logical sense. I also hated that the whole movie was just filmed with green screens so it looked like a video game. Go watch The Wiz. You know how awesome those sets are? How it's filled with a cast of hundreds and feels energetic and big and alive? Yeah, we miss those days. Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo are back and it's the same director, so if you liked the first one you'll probably love this. 

ZOOTOPIA 2 (November 26): The first animated kid's movie Zootopia was a big hit, so much so that it took 9 years for this sequel to finally come out. What was the hold up, anyway? In this one, a new reptile resident of Zootopia shows up and the main characters, who are animal cops, go undercover. Jason Bateman, Ke Huy Quan, Idris Elba, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Macauley Culkin are a few of the voices in this.

WAKE UP DEAD MAN (November 26): This is the 3rd Knives Out mystery. Rian Johnson is back writing and directing and it's releasing in theaters in November and going to Netflix on December 12th. This one is a locked room mystery where a priest is murdered in his church. Daniel Craig, Josh O'Connor, Mila Kunis, Glenn Close, and Josh Brolin star. While I love Agatha Christie style mysteries with a genius P.I., neither of the first two films were that great. I'm starting to think Rian Johnson isn't going to make a good movie again (Brick, the High School noir mystery, was the only one I liked).

HAMNET (November 27): Paul Mescal and Jessie Buckley star in this adaptation from the novel about Shakespeare's dead son, Hamnet. Chloe Zhao, who directed The Eternals and won an Oscar for Nomadland, is at the helm. This just played at Telluride and got good reviews, though Variety did say "it's so emotionally raw as to be almost excruciating at times." Oh, jeez, another fun night at the movies!

DECEMBER

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S 2 (December 5): The first film in this video game adaptation was a smash hit. The idea behind the video games is good: basically, the animal robots at a Chuck-E-Cheese like place turn murderous. The problem with the first film was that it was rated PG-13 so the kids that play the video games could actually go see it. This one is also rated PG-13. The video games are scary as hell and it's a great premise, but the first film didn't reach its full potential of awesome fright fest. I feel like an R-rated gore fest would be better, right? 

AVATAR: FIRE & ASH (December 19): Honestly, is there anyone on Earth that asked for a 3rd Avatar movie? Not that the first 2 movies were bad or anything, they were fairly entertaining and made a boatload of cash, but once you've seen one Avatar you've seen them all. James Cameron is a director that's made a ton of classics (The Terminator, Aliens, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, True Lies, Titanic). I wish he'd, like, go direct something not Avatar considering he's old and he probably won't make many more movies. There's supposedly part 4 and 5 in the Avatar series "in development." You know, I always heard that he wanted to make True Lies 2. Schwarzenegger isn't doing anything these days because his Netflix show was cancelled. Hello? Make a movie people actually want to see, Cameron.

THE HOUSEMAID (December 19): This is based on a best-selling novel about a maid and a family with dark secrets. I don't know what those secrets are because I never read the book. It stars Sydnee Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried. It's directed by Paul Feig (Bridesmaids). The book was a success, so it spawned two sequels. What we really want to know is if Sweeney is going to wear a French maid's outfit in this movie. Oh, it's not a comedy? I guess the answer is "no" then. And where the hell is Euphoria season 3? Sydnee Sweeney is going to be in a wheelchair and still in High School by the time it comes out.

MARTY SUPREME (December 25): Supposedly, Leonardo DiCaprio once told Timothee Chalamet that to stay a successful actor in Hollywood, stay away from super-hero movies and hard drugs. Chalamet is keeping that promise by starring in a ping-pong movie. He plays a professional ping-pong player in the 1950's. It's directed by Josh Safdie, who has made a few good movies with his brother, Benny (Uncut Gems and Good Times), but his going solo with this one. The trailer makes it look great...not that I'd, like, actually drive to a movie theater and pay to see this or anything.

ANACONDA (December 25): Okay, this sounds like an April Fools prank or something. Jack Black and Paul Rudd head to the rainforest to re-create their favorite movie, Anaconda. Wait. What? This can't be for real. I guess it's a horror comedy? Even more shocking, this is the 6th entry in the Anaconda series. There were actually 4 sequels already? I must be living in a cave.

SUMMER 2025

     It's Labor Day, Monday, September 1st. That means that, unofficially, the summer is over. I didn't see all of the summer movies yet but saw most of the ones I actually wanted to see (Fantastic Four: First Steps and Weapons are the only two that I still want to see). As for the box office, the domestic haul for summer movies is at $3.670 billion right now. That's a bit lower than 2024's summer box office tally, $3.677 billion. 2023's was $4.09 billion, thanks mostly to Barbie, Oppenheimer, and Inside Out 2. That box office numbers are dropping every year isn't a shock. I didn't go to the movies once this summer. Jurassic Park: Rebirth came to theaters on July 2nd and was available to buy or rent On Demand on August 5th, so you really only have to wait a month to watch a new movie at home, making going to the movies fairly pointless. And while none of the big blockbuster summer movies were anything fantastic, awesome, exceptional, classic, or worth going out of your way to see, I still love the summer movie season. Here's some short reviews of the summer movie season that was:

THUNDERBOLTS (May 2nd): This movie made $190 million at the domestic box office yet was still considered a failure. That tells you how expensive these superhero movies can be. It's also not a shock that this movie, featuring heroes nobody knows, was a failure. The first half of this is a total blast, though. It's super fun and super entertaining until the second half which is dark and dour. It also doesn't lead up to any sort of great climax that these types of movies need. Florence Pugh, David Harbour, and Wyatt Russell are all fantastic in this. 

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THE FINAL RECKONING (May 23rd): reviewed ** (out of ****)

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH (May 23rd): This went straight to Apple+. It's basically a National Tresure/Indiana Jones type of flick, this one starring Natalie Portman and the dude from The Office (John Krasinski). It's fairly entertaining though nothing special. **

FEAR STREET: PROM QUEEN (May 23rd): This is a horror movie that went straight to Netflix and is the fourth film in Netflix's Fear Street series. This movie is super bloody and gruesome. I swear, there's like ten people that have their limbs chopped off in this. It's not great, though it held my interest since I'm a sicko. **

BRING HER BACK (May 30th): Talk to Me was perhaps the last great horror movie, so I had high expectations for this, the Phillippou brother's second feature. While it's certainly intriguing, it was also way too dark and grim for me. Sally Hawkins is really good in this, but that's about it. This film is disturbing in the type of way that you don't even want to keep watching it. *1/2

THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME (May 30th): Wes Anderson has finally done it. He finally made a film completely void of humanity. I loved most of his movies until recently, but his last three pictures have not been good. Everything about this is so robotic and stale that it's barely watchable and not enjoyable at all. Benicio Del Toro is usually great, but he can't even save this. *

MOUNTAINHEAD (May 31st): This went straight to HBO. It was written and directed by the creator of the HBO show Succession. It's about a group of billionaires that meet up at a mountain house. Considering all the talented, comedic actors in this (Steve Carrell, Jason Schwartzman, Ramy Youssef), you wouldn't think this movie would be so boring. It's not bad, just a bit too dull. **

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (June 13th): I really liked this movie, the live action re-make of the animated movie. I think the reason is that I never watched the animated version so the story was new to me. ***

28 YEARS LATER (June 20th): reviewed **1/2

F1 (June 27th): This might be the most paint-by-numbers and safe movie that Hollywood has ever made. That's not exactly a bad thing, as these type of feel good, same-old movies tend to be popular and make money. Brad Pitt is good in this as the has-been Formula 1 driver that rises from the ashes to save the day. The one big problem is that, at 2 hours and 36 minutes, this movie is too long, especially considering it's just racing scenes over and over and over. That gets old after two hours. **

JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH (July 2nd): This was better than the last Jurassic Park movie at least. It's nothing particularly great but the action sequences are good and the script by David Koepp (who wrote the original script) is creative enough to feel somewhat fresh. The action scenes on water are the most exciting and feature the best special f/x. Scarlett Johannson doesn't really work in this, though. ***

HEAD OF STATE (July 2nd): This went straight to Amazon Prime. It's an action comedy starring Idris Elba and John Cena. It has a ton of action but not any worthwhile comedy. It's fine. **

SUPERMAN (July 11th): I was pretty disappointed in this, especially considering James Gunn wrote & directed the first episode of the second season of the HBO show Peacemaker and that was light years better. I think with Peacemaker, Gunn has the ability to go balls-to-the-wall (it's heavy on ridiculous comedy, gore, and nudity), which, if you know his history, is his happy place. With Superman he has to be a bit more tame, and it shows. The story is fine, though Nicolas Hoult's Lex Luthor is actually too cruel and evil (Gene Hackman had the perfect mix of comedy & charm to make Luthor someone you actually want to watch). There's also way too many special f/x in this. There are some sequences where this movie just looks like an animated film. Jimmy Olsen, played by Skyler Gisondo from The Righteous Gemstones, is great in this. It kind of tells you something that Krypto, the dog, is one of the better parts of this movie. *1/2

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (July 18th): Weapons was the big horror movie hit of the summer, a movie nobody even really knew anything about until it was released. I think that's because moviegoers want something fresh and new with their horror, not a retread from 1997. You can tell they also re-did the ending probably multiple times since the final scene is strange and feels added at the last minute. I love a good slasher pic, so this is at least mildly amusing for a while. Who doesn't want to see hot 20 years olds running for their life from a serial murderer dressed to kill in a seaside paradise? Adding the original cast as side characters was probably a bad move, as the movie is fine until they all appear out of the blue (and it makes you depressed at how old they all are now...although Sarah Michelle Gellar still looks good). Seriously, what have Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. been doing in the last 25 years? ** 

EDDINGTON (July 18th): This was my favorite movie of the summer. A lot of people didn't like this movie at all, especially when it premiered at Cannes and was disliked by everyone. I was entertaining throughout even though I didn't particularly like the ending, which was at least a bold idea. Joaquin Phoenix is my favorite actor, so I was engrossed with all 2.5 hours of him as the bumbling sheriff in small town, Covid-era New Mexico. ***1/2 

HAPPY GILMORE 2 (July 25th): This went straight to Netflix. The original was better. While there are a few amusing moments in this, it feels like it was mostly made to just feature famous actor and sports star cameos so that there's at least something to look at while the dreadful movie runs its course. 1/2*

THE PICKUP (August 6th): This went straight to Amazon Prime. You would think a movie with Pete Davidson and Eddie Murphy would be funnier. The action sequences are fairly entertaining, but after an hour I was bored out of my mind. *

Review: 28 YEARS LATER

  

       28 Days Later was a fantastic film on its own, but it was also prominent because it kicked off the zombie craze that engulfed TV, movies, comic books, video games, and books afterwards. Considering there's still a The Walking Dead spin-off TV series currently airing on AMC (they go to New York City!) and an HBO show based on a video game about the undead, The Last of Us, that just ended its second season, the zombie craze hasn't entirely dissipated. After 2002, though, when 28 Days Later came out, it's kind of hard to even remember how ensconced zombies were in media. Dawn of the Dead was re-made and then George Romero returned from obscurity to direct two new zombie movies. The Walking Dead comic book spawned what was, at one point, the #1 watched TV show. There were zombie comedies like Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland. This was all thanks to a fairly low-budget horror film with no big stars that came out of nowhere. 

    There was a sequel made, 28 Weeks Later, that was made with a different director, writer, and cast. And now there's a new sequel with the original creators returning. This would probably feel like a big deal, but lately, sequels and returns to age-old films and TV shows seemingly happen all the time. I never in my wildest dreams thought we'd ever see a new Twin Peaks, Willow, Evil Dead, The Dark Crystal, or Star Wars with the original cast, but they all happened. And, sadly, while it was nice to see them return, none of them re-captured the originality or magic of the originals. Danny Boyle, who directed 28 Days Later, has also not made a good movie in a long time, and his Trainspotting sequel was an embarrassment. Alex Garland, the 28 Days Later writer, has made some great films since 2002, like 2014's Ex/Machina and last year's Civil War. He's also worked on some original, interesting projects like Annihilation and Devs. It'd be curious to see what these two, returning to work together for the first time in 23 years, would even cook up for a sequel to their famous, non-zombie film (it's a rage virus, not zombies, or so they say). 

    28 Years Later takes place 28 years after the original, when the rage virus outbreak turned England into the zombie apocalypse. I remember seeing 28 Days Later in theaters and loving it, and I also remember loving the plot twist. Cillian Murphy played Jim in the first film, a man that awakes from a coma in a hospital in London to find that nobody is around because zombies have taken over. The twist has him hiding in the woods and suddenly seeing a commercial airliner flying high up in the sky going about it's business as if there isn't a zombie apocalypse going on. The twist is that the zombies are only in England because it's an island. The rest of the world is perfectly fine. Cut to the new film, which conveniently forgets that 28 Weeks Later was ever made (it doesn't exist in this "universe"), and we have England/Scotland still quarantined off from the rest of the world. There's an island off the coast of Scotland, though, that has a village of people still alive and cut off from the rest of the world. They can get to the mainland to gather supplies and fight off zombies if they want by walking along a path that goes underwater during high tide. Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Jodie Comer play a husband a wife that live on this small island. Their son, who is the star of the film, is played by Alfie Williams. The father takes his son to hunt in zombie infested Scotland to kick start the film. 

    The one thing I can say about this sequel is that it feels like Alex Garland and Danny Boyle only wanted to make a sequel if they had complete control to go bat shit crazy on it. It's almost as if they were bored over the years with the idea of making just a typical, run-of-the-mill, people-get-chased-by-zombies picture...so they decided to finally make it by going bonkers with it and throw everything and anything at the wall. While there are, in fact, scenes of people being chased by zombies, there are also oddities like Ralph Fiennes building towers of bones while covering himself in human blood but also staying cheery and friendly to all (even the zombies), a group of survivors that are dressed like the infamous British child molester, Jimmy Saville, that also fight in over-the-top kung-fu style like The Power Rangers, and there's a zombie giving birth to a healthy baby.

    Seriously, you'll finish watching this film thinking to yourself: 'What the fuck?' 

    Is that a good thing, though? It certainly makes this film interesting and something you can talk and argue about. 

    Alex Garland wrote and directed a film a few years ago titled Men that featured a creature giving birth over and over again. Garland being involved in a creatively weird film isn't exactly a newsflash. Danny Boyle of course made his bones putting bombastic scenes on film, like Ewan McGregor climbing out of a toilet in Trainspotting. I guess it's not surprising that this film is shocking in an absurd way, as creatively these two have made films in the past that weren't exactly traditional, safe, popcorn fare.

    Early on in the film, when the father and son are cautiously running through the forest in Scotland, there are scenes from Laurence Olivier's Henry V edited in for no apparent reason, as is the reading of a Rudyard Kipling poem in voice-over. The zombie kills by bow and arrow are also shot in a freeze-frame, slow-mo video game style. At least early on, this editing technique reminded me of Natural Born Killers, which used various film stock and clips from different TV shows and movies to create a hallucinogenic, off-kilter effect. It doesn't entirely work here, as the whole film isn't edited like that, although the score, which at times feels like a weird, DJ reverb song, is effective and quite brilliant. All of this makes the film at least feel vibrant and different. The big problem with all of this is the film also feels jarring in that it doesn't seem to know what it wants to be. When a group of track suit, kung-fu, Jimmy Saville/Power Rangers dressed men and women show up to take out zombies in brutally, sadistic fashion, are we supposed to guffaw with laughter? And this comes right after someone mourns the death of a family member in a somber, cry-inducing sequence. The whiplash effect of ridiculousness and horror/sadness make this movie an interesting mess but not on par with the original, which was scary, fresh, kinetic, alive, dramatic, and excellent.

    Alfie Williams and Ralph Fiennes give good performances in this film, although Jodie Comer, who was great in Killing Eve, doesn't get much to do here. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is adequate as the tough-as-nails father figure, but he seems to be sidelined for the most part after the beginning. And there's one character that shows up and then disappears fairly quickly, probably because they needed an action sequence involving him so the movie doesn't get too boring. 

    The big bad in the film, a seemingly unkillable zombie muscle man, isn't scary, which is a problem.  It is a problem that he's unkillable and can control birds, but none of this is explained. This may be because there's a sequel to this that's already been filmed, written by Garland and directed by Nia DaCosta, and supposedly there's another sequel ready to be made starring Cillian Murphy if these two films make money at the box office.

    There are some great shots in this film, like the big bad zombie standing by a tree alone in a field. The action sequences, like the chase along the path while the tide is rising, is propulsive. The editing and music make the movie unique and watchable and, while it's not a great film or anything, it's a curiosity that's at least never dull. 

    Like all sequels and re-makes, though, this one just makes you long to watch the original, which wasn't really anything new, but was an exciting, wild, scary, horror film. This one is watchable and entertaining for the most part but also too ridiculous and too weird, which, honestly, seems to be what they were out to make in the first place. **1/2

    

    

    

    

30th ANNIVERSARY OF "BATMAN FOREVER"

 

    Batman Forever came out on June 16th, 1995, 30 years ago today. I don't know this because I'm some kind of Batman fanatic. Val Kilmer died in April and all of the press around his death mentioned the movies he starred in. The Doors, Top Gun, Tombstone, Heat, and, of course, he was Batman in Batman Forever. Since I haven't watched that movie in years, I watched it. At the time it had the #1 opening weekend at the box office of all time and was eventually the #1 movie at the box office in 1995. Tim Burton had made Batman relevant again in the mainstream in 1989 with his first Batman movie. I remember going to see it with my friend and his dad on opening day and the line for the box office was snaked around the building. We, of course, had bought tickets early. I don't remember if I liked that first movie then. Granted, I was 10 years old. I don't think anyone liked the sequel, Batman Returns, at the time, though, since it was so weird and so dark. Now, a lot of movie fans and reviewers online proclaim that to be one of the best Batman films. The consensus best Batman film is the one with Heath Ledger as The Joker, though, even though I've only watched that one once, in theaters, in 2008, and honestly don't even remember if it was all that great. There was a company backlash to Batman Returns, though, meaning companies like McDonalds were pissed off that they made Happy Meals for it even though little kids shouldn't be watching something so dark, cruel, sadistic, and odd. Cue the color-heavy, fun romp that was Batman Forever. Tim Burton was fired, and Joel Schumacher was brought in. They hired the hottest star at the time, Jim Carrey, to play The Riddler, which meant that this new Batman would be more comical. The eventual film harkens back to the silly 60's TV show. That means it's understandable when a lot of people online these days proclaim that Batman Forever sucks and is terrible. I watched Siskel and Ebert review Batman Forever on Youtube and Siskel gave it a thumbs up but said he forgot about it instantly. Ebert said it was better than Batman Returns but still gave it a thumbs down. While it's obviously not a great movie or anything, it's very entertaining and a lot of fun. Jim Carrey is fantastic, as he was in most things back then. Nicole Kidman is as gorgeous as ever as Chase Meridian, a psychologist who is in love with Batman. Tommy Lee Jones is ridiculously all over the map. But this is a pure comic book movie, unlike the Christopher Nolan films. If you want a comic book movie, this is truly the apotheosis of it. Nolan's films attempted to place Gotham and Batman in the real world. While that made the critics fawn over them, they were more just action/dramatic films than comic book films. That's the same problem the last Batman movie had, the one that starred Robert Pattinson. Batman is not in the real world; it's a fantasy world. Comic book writer Grant Morrison has a famous quote about this: "Kids understand that real crabs don't sing like the ones in The Little Mermaid. But you give an adult fiction, and the adults start asking really fucking dumb questions like, 'How does Superman fly? How do those eyebeams work? Who pumps the Batmobile's tires?' It's a fucking made-up story, you idiot! Nobody pumps the tires!" So, if you're one of those people that want to see Batman in a harsh, realistic, modern setting, then you probably love the Nolan films and loathe Batman Forever. I was 15 years old and just finishing Freshman year in High School when it came out. I don't remember what I thought about it back then. I don't even remember seeing it when it came out, though I probably saw it right away. I do remember seeing Braveheart in theaters the week before, the same night my brother graduated from High School. I think, at 15, Braveheart was a lot "cooler" than seeing a guy in a rubber suit running around a candy-colored Hollywood set. The one thing I do remember about that summer is how often MTV played the Seal video for "A Kiss From a Rose," which was on the Batman Forever soundtrack. If you watch the video, it literally shows clips from the entire movie, giving everything away. They still play that song at my work a lot, and I always immediately think about the movie, even though the song seems to be more about romance and love than superheroes. U2 also had a great song on the soundtrack that plays during the end credits. The one thing about Batman Forever is that it really encapsulates what a summer movie is. It's got big stars, a big budget, it's fucking dumb as a rock, it's light, it's fun, it's amusing, it had McDonald's and MTV tie-ins and probably a zillion other corporate sponsorships. Val Kilmer just died, so that's the reason I watched it again in the first place. While he was in the comedy movie Top Secret, he was mostly known for serious work, which is kind of amusing that he's in this completely over-the-top, circus spectacle. He even bailed out for the next one, Batman & Robin, which everyone hated with a passion, and George Clooney took his place. Director Joel Schumacher died years ago, but Chris O'Donnell, Tommy Lee Jones, Nicole Kidman, and Jim Carrey are still around. Only Nicole Kidman seems to be relevant these days. Jim Carrey was a megastar in 1995, but he hasn't done much of anything in the last decade. O'Donnell posted a picture from the Batman Forever premiere on Instagram today with the caption: "Cannot believe it's been 30 years since the premiere of Batman Forever, wow, time flies." I don't know...1995 seems like a really fucking long time ago. I don't even remember much of anything from that summer. I do remember making an Animal Farm movie for English class that copied a ton from Braveheart. We filmed that in May of 1995. You can watch it here if you want: Animal Farm. & I remember after seeing Braveheart on Friday, June 9th, 1995, being dropped off to attend the post-graduation party. & I remember the next day having my brother's graduation party. I remember leaving the party to go smoke cigars with my brother and his friends on the bridge at Rolling Green golf course. And I remember being on the bridge and hearing people somewhere on the golf course yelling and making noise. Little did I know, but less than a year later I would be attending two keggers at that same golf course. I'm guessing that night when we were smoking cigars on the bridge they had a keg party at the same place I'd be at a year later but I was too innocent, too young, too out-of-the-loop as a Freshman to know anything about it. & I guess my brother and his friends weren't in that popular group, either. While Batman Forever might not be a great piece of cinema or anything, it's certainly nostalgic at this stage, bringing back good memories from years ago. I suppose that's a good consolation. Happy 30th anniversary. 

 

Review: MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THE FINAL RECKONING

  

   Tom Cruise is one of the last movie stars left. It seemed to be a perfect storm with peak TV, movie theater attendance dropping, reality and influencer stars becoming famous, and kids watching Youtube instead of anything else...but the "movie star" seems to be a thing of the past. All of the big movie stars today seem to be ones that became famous decades ago, like Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Robert DeNiro. Most of the current, new movie stars, like Timothee Chalamet, Emma Stone, and Margot Robbie, are people that you might have to explain who they are to some people. "Oh, Margot Robbie was Barbie," you might have to tell a co-worker, and then they'd know. You don't have to do that with Tom Cruise. He's a Hollywood icon, so it's a little sad that the majority of movies Tom Cruise has made lately have been re-makes of a 1960's TV show. 

    Mission: Impossible The Final Reckoning is the 8th film in the franchise. Yikes. Presumably, with the title having "final" in it, this will be the last. If you've ever seen any of these films, then this new one will be so similar that it will blend with all the others. A big bad threatens to destroy the world for no good reason. Cruise, as Ethan Hunt, will have to save the world by going rogue from the very secret government he works for. There will be exotic locations. There will be a scene at a black tie event. There will be a beautiful woman half Tom Cruise's age that seems to love and/or care for him for no obvious reason since he's not supposed to be the rich & famous Tom Cruise but Ethan Hunt, a guy that always gets people killed around him. This is all paint-by-numbers stuff. The days of Cruise recruiting interesting directors like John Woo, Brad Bird, and JJ Abrams to direct these films are long gone (Christopher McQuarrie directed the last four, including this one). So what's left? To be entertained? Unfortunately, this last one doesn't even offer that. At 2 hours and 41 minutes, The Final Reckoning is a bloated, badly written mess with literally only one action scene in it. I guess it's good that it's the end.

    The original title for this was Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 2 because it's a continuation of the last one, a film I enjoyed a lot more. In Dead Reckoning, the 7th entry, it seemed that the writers (Erik Jendresen and McQuarrie) came up with the action sequences before the script and plot. The reason was that the plot was extremely silly & stupid. It was basically Skynet from the Terminator movies. A computer program known as The Entity was going to take over the world. The only way to find it was to get a magic key. Honestly, this sounds like the kind of plot you'd find in a movie like The Never Ending Story. "I have to find the magic key to stop The Entity from taking over the world!" Thankfully, Dead Reckoning had some exciting and suspenseful action sequences, so the plot didn't really matter. Not so here. There's a scene on an airplane where Cruise and his friends are all deep in thought explaining how to stop The Entity. I swear, this is Monty Python stuff because it's so ludicrous and laughably bad.

    To stop The Entity, Cruise and co. have to get a computer drive from a submarine submerged at the bottom of the sea in Antartica. This sequence, with Cruise in a wet suit grunting his way around a submarine, is fairly entertaining. The submarine is tumbling around towards a cliff underwater, so Cruise is spinning around while nuclear missiles come loose, and he has to evade them. This is all done fairly well and made me think of the excellent scene in Titanic when DiCaprio is half-submerged inside the ship trying to escape. The only other sequence that's good in the film is also the only action scene in the entire picture. There is another big bad in the film, Gabriel, played by Esai Morales. He escapes in a bi-plane, so of course Cruise ends up dangling from the wing of the plane and fighting Morales while the plane is flipping and diving and going upside down. This sequence is fantastic, the type of great, wild, death-defying stunt scene you used to see in James Bond movies before CGI made everything fake looking and safe in modern action flicks.

    Besides Morales and Cruise, the usual team of Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames are back. Hayley Atwell plays Grace, one of the good guys. Severance's Tramell Tillman shows up as a submarine captain. Nick Offerman is a general. The U.S. president is played by Angela Bassett (the most unrealistic aspect of the film). One of the highlights of the franchise has been the amusing comradery between Cruise and Rhames and Pegg. If I recall, this used to be a humorous and fun group. Pegg is, after all, a comedy actor. Seeing the old gang back together should be a good time. Nope! This film is dour. Rhames is literally on his death bed in this film and Pegg's comedic, wisecracking cohort has disappeared into the world-ending, dramatic murk. 

    There's been so many of these films that it's hard to even remember if any of them have been good or great or bad. I'll always remember the first one, directed by Brian DePalma, that came out in 1996, because of the set pieces: Cruise dangling in the white room, Cruise running from the exploding fish tank, Cruise hanging from a train while a helicopter explodes. I remember the 2nd one, directed by John Woo, being really awful. I remember the 3rd one, directed by JJ Abrams, because of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's evil villain. And Brad Bird's 4th one had that cool scene with Cruise climbing up the skyscraper in Dubai. After that, everything merges into similarity. I suppose it's a shame that the franchise will end on what will be either the worst or 2nd worst entry. But it's probably also good that it's ending so Cruise can do something else besides make Top Gun and Mission: Impossible sequels. He's one of the biggest movie stars in the world and he can be in any movie he wants. Remember when he actually was a part of interesting films made by interesting directors instead of just starring in popcorn schlock? Hell, he was in a Stanley Kubrick film. He was nominated for an Oscar for starring in Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia. I think it's time for one of the biggest movie stars in the world to have a final reckoning of his own and start being in movies that are fresh, new, bold, and actually intriguing. **

    

    

    

SUMMER MOVIE PREVIEW 2025

     Val Kilmer died a few weeks ago and one of the films mentioned in the various online articles about him was, of course, Batman Forever. When it opened on June 16th, 1995, it made $52.8 million, which was then the highest grossing opening weekend of all time (taking the crown from Jurassic Park). Batman Forever was the first Batman movie post-Tim Burton. Joel Schumacher went the 1960's, wacky TV route, making a colorful, zany, ridiculously silly popcorn spectacle. There's Jim Carrey going balls-to-the-wall as The Riddler. There's Nicole Kidman inviting Batman to her bedroom at midnight and he actually shows up! And there's Tommy Lee Jones giving a performance as Two-Face that's even crazier than his Natural Born Killers performance, which was bonkers. While the film was pretty much just thought of as dumb romp back then and even today, it distilled a certain summer popcorn mood that summer movies then and now encapsulate: the idea that you can head out to the movies on a hot Friday night in the summer and watch an entertaining, mindless, fun extravaganza with a rowdy, raucous, packed crowd and have a fucking blast. Obviously, less people actually go to the movies these days. This isn't moviegoer's fault. Some big movies hit the streamers right away, others a few weeks after their theatrical release. Last year, the first official summer movie was The Fall Guy, and that went On Demand a mere 17 days after it hit theaters. Netflix now pumps out new flicks left and right, including the Happy Gilmore sequel this summer. & Apple+ has a big, Guy Ritchie directed Indiana Jones-esque adventure film arriving in May starring Natalie Portman and John Krasinski. The summer blockbusters still arrive every year no matter where or when you see them. This is my favorite time of the year. The Summer Movie Season of 2025 is about to begin. 

MAY

THUNDERBOLTS (May 2): There was a time not too long ago that the biggest movie of the summer was released first. Avengers: Infinity War was released on April 27th, 2018 and Avengers: Endgame was released on April 26th, 2019. Those days seem to be over, as last year the first summer movie was the Ryan Gosling stunt guy movie, The Fall Guy. This year isn't much better, as we get a B-Marvel movie to kick things off. The Thunderbolts, at least in the comics, are a bunch of expendable superheroes that are sent on suicide missions. This is what we get when you make bad decisions like kill off Iron-Man and Captain America in your universe. Even Marvel admitted this mistake when they announced they're bringing back Robert Downey, Jr. but in a different role (Dr. Doom...who wears a mask...so literally it might not even be Robert Downey, Jr. the whole time and you wouldn't know). Thunderbolts at least looks to be entertaining, albeit in the way you watch a dumb action film on HBO one night and forget about it the next day. Sebastian Stan returns as Bucky Barnes, as does Florence Pugh and David Harbour, who were both in Black Widow. I'd say Marvel really seems to be scraping the barrel these days, but they are releasing a new Fantastic Four film in July. 

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH (May 23): This one is releasing on Apple+, which has had two of the best shows on TV this year with Severance and The Studio. Guy Ritchie directs this Indiana Jones type of adventure film about a brother and sister searing for a mythical spring. Natalie Portman and John Krasinski star. Remember when Guy Ritchie was making really cool, really gritty, wild indie gangster flicks like Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels? Yeah...it's been awhile.

LILO & STICH (May 23): Literally, Disney just released a new live-action Snow White film. I mean...give us a breather. Another live action re-make so soon? At this rate they'll be out of animated films to make live action and resort to re-making their animated ones as new animated films. We're beyond the pale. It's going to turn into that time travel abstraction where there's another you in front of you and the world falls apart in a paradox. I doubt I ever saw Lilo & Stitch, but it's about a cute, fuzzy little alien that looks like a kowala bear that lands in Hawaii and befriends a child. The trailer actually makes this look pretty good but, c'mon, what's the fucking point? It already exists in perfect form.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE- THE FINAL RECKONING (May 23): This is the 8th Mission: Impossible film. While I've been entertained by most of them, the only one I really remember is the first one that Brian DePalma made. They're all a blur of the same old thing. Considering this is the final one, maybe Tom Cruise will go back to starring in movies that aren't summer popcorn fluff. He was once in a Kubrick film and once in a Paul Thomas Anderson film. Granted, those came out in the 90's. 

FEAR STREET: PROM QUEEN (May 23): Back in the summer of 2021, Netflix did a really cool experiment by releasing three Fear Street movies in back-to-back-to-back weeks. They were all set in different time periods in the same town but connected to one another. I actually put Fear Street: Part One 1994 on my Top 10 Best Films of 2021 (granted, nobody else did). Unfortunately, this time around we're not getting three films, it's a one-and-done, though there are more films in the series, based on R.L. Stine's series of books, coming out eventually. This one takes place in 1988 and a bunch of girls running for prom queen start to disappear. I adore teen slasher pics. I'm probably one of the few people on Earth that actually watched every single episode of the MTV Scream TV show. This should be the type of film that is loathed by critics and most people but is a total blast. 

KARATE KID: LEGENDS (May 30): It was cool that the Karate Kid actors all returned for Cobra Kai. Enough is enough, though. The show ended with six seasons and now a new movie is coming out. This one has Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio and they're training a new karate kid. I still wonder what Ralph Macchia was doing from, like, 1988 until 2015, because he sure wasn't in movies. I just picture the actual Karate Kid working in an office and the other people there are always looking at him and thinking: man, that's the Karate Kid!

BRING HER BACK (May 30): Talk to Me was probably the last great horror film. There's a montage set to music sequence in that film where the kids are all being possessed by various spirits at a party that is, honest to God, one of the great scenes put on film in recent memory. Plus, that ending is awesome. What a cool, fresh, kinetically alive film. The brothers that directed it are back with a film about a woman, Sally Hawkins, that takes in two foster kids. I'm guessing the kids are...evil? 

MOUNTAINHEAD (May 31): This film is going straight to HBO. It was directed by the guy that created the popular TV show, Succession. It has Steve Carrell, Ramy Youssef, and Jason Schwartzman. The film involves a bunch of billionaires on a ski retreat when some sort of terrible, global panic occurs. I'm guessing this will be like a dark comedy about the 1%, which, honestly, nobody wants to see these days. 

JUNE

THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME (June 6): Wes Anderson's last two films, Asteroid City and The French Dispatch, weren't very good, which is a total shame because he's one of my favorite filmmakers currently working. Rushmore is one of my favorite films of all time and The Great Budapest Hotel is phenomenal. This is typical Wes Anderson: overly, intricately stylized with a gigantic cast. Benicio Del Toro is the star, playing a father that teaches his daughter the family business, which is some sort of globe-trotting scheme. It also has Tom Hanks, Michael Cera, Bryan Cranston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Scarlett Johannson, and Jeffrey Wright. 

FROM THE WORLD OF JOHN WICK: BALLERINA (June 6): I did watch the original John Wick film. There were more of them, though, and I had no desire to watch them. Hey, let's watch someone shoot and kill one thousand people! Every year at work I have to take a what-to-do-if-there's-a-mass-shooter class. John Wick type of films aren't the main reason for that, but they're certainly not helping. This one is an off-shoot starring Ana de Armas as a hitman. Really, this is the stupidest movie title in quite some time.

THE LIFE OF CHUCK (June 6): This is based on a novella by Stephen King. I read it and it was so great I barely remember it. From what I do recall, a guy is famous and nobody knows why. Like there are billboards of his face and stuff around but nobody knows who he is. And the novella goes backwards to reveal his life. The movie version got fantastic reviews when it played last September at the Toronto Film Festival. The one thing going for it is that Mike Flanagan wrote and directed it. For awhile he was coming out with pretty entertaining scary TV shows on Netflix every year like Midnight Mass, The Haunting, and The Fall of the House of Usher. This is not a horror movie, though. It's an uplifting weeper starring Tom Hiddleston and Karen Gillan. It does seem weird that it played at a film festival last September and isn't being released until June. 

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (June 13): Universal Studios in Florida just opened a few new sections to their park. One is Super Mario World, another is the Fantastic Beasts era of Harry Potter, and another is the Universal Monsters realm that features Dracula, The Wolf-Man, and Frankenstein. Weirdly, they have a whole section of the park dedicated to How to Train Your Dragon, which was a book and then 3 animated films. I mean...was How to Train Your Dragon that popular? I never saw any of those films. Either way, they're going the Disney route and making a new, live action version. It's not that live action, though, as the dragon is just the same computer special f/x creature from the animated movie. God forbid modern movies build something for once...you know, like a set? A puppet creature? Everything is just green screens now. 

28 YEARS LATER (June 20): 28 Days Later came out way back in 2003. There was a sequel in 2007, but writer Alex Garland and director Danny Boyle didn't make it. They did make this one, though, which at least brings forth the possibility that it could be good. The original was awesome and really kicked off the zombie craze that is still going on. This new one stars Aaron Taylor Johnson, Jodie Comer, and Ralph Fiennes. The trailer makes it look brutal as hell. Garland is one of my favorite filmmakers these days, so I'm sure his script is terrific. Danny Boyle. on the other hand, hasn't made a good movie in awhile. And I'll still never forgive him for making a belated sequel to Trainspotting.

ELIO (June 20): The highest grossing movie of last year was Inside Out 2...so I guess nobody really cares that Pixar doesn't make good movies anymore. This is their latest, a tale about an 11 year old boy that's abducted by aliens. The aliens think he's the leader of Earth. 

F1 (June 27): Brad Pitt stars in this film about Formula 1 racing. An F1 movie was inevitable ever since the documentary show about it on Netflix became a global hit. Maybe I should watch that show? Would it make me care about Formula 1 racing? Because watching cars drive around in circles is boring as fuck. Pitt plays a famous F1 legend mentoring a new driver. The Top Gun: Maverick director made this, so expect this be glossy and by-the-numbers. 

M3GAN 2.0 (June 27): Remember when the M3gan movie was a big hit and everybody online was talking about it? It's about a killer AI doll. I never saw it. Allison Williams is back. It's so funny that the only person from the Girls TV show that ended up a big star was Adam Driver. 

JULY

JURASSIC WORLD REBIRTH (July 2): Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali star in the 7th Jurassic Park film. Three of them were great, one was good, and the other two were just okay. This one looks fantastic. This franchise is like a Spider-Man movie: I'd be happy if a new one came out every week. Who doesn't want to see people being chased by dinosaurs in a jungle? Gareth Edwards directed this, and he's made some good films like Star Wars: Rogue One, The Creator, and Godzilla. The one thing about his movies is that they look fantastic. They even got David Koepp, who wrote the original Jurassic Park movie script, to write this. Honestly, this is the #1 movie I'm looking forward to this summer. 

SUPERMAN (July 11): Remember Marvel fired James Gunn because he made some jokes on Twitter? Then they brought him back to make the third Guardians of the Galaxy film. But he left to make DC movies starting with Suicide Squad and now he's apparently re-starting their whole universe with Superman. Both Bryan Singer and Zack Snyder made Superman movies that never got sequels. Will this be the one to finally produce a new franchise? Gunn wrote and directed this, so that's a good start. They cast a nobody, David Corinswet, to play Superman, which is probably a good idea. Nicholas Hoult is Lex Luthor, which is an odd casting choice. Lois Lane is played by Rachel Brosnahan, who was on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. The first trailer doesn't make it look very good, but I'm usually entertained by Gunn's films. Honestly? I'm more excited for his new season of the Peacekeeper TV show. 

EDDINGTON (July 18): Did you watch Ari Aster's last film, Beau is Afraid? Holy shit, I'm still baffled that anyone gave him money to make that movie. I did like Midsommar, and I do find his films to be at least interesting. His latest is set in a small Southwestern town during the pandemic when bad things happen at night. They got a hell of a cast: Joaquin Phoenix, Austin Butler, Emma Stone, and Pedro Pascal. 

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (July 18): I think I'm the only one on Earth that not only knows it exists but watched the first and only season of I Know What You Did Last Summer on Amazon Prime. It was just okay but the first film that came out way back in 1997 was good (the sequel, set on a tropical island resort, was not so good). The book these are all based on came out in the 70's. Are we, now, officially out of ideas? It is a good premise, though, and the trailer for this new version makes it look great. Madelyn Cline, from Netflix's Outer Banks, is the star, but the original cast members Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze, Jr. are also back. Seriously, what the heck have those two been doing in the last 20 years? 

THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS (July 25): They did a smart thing by having this film set in the 1960's when the comic book first came out. A modern version of the Fantastic Four is just a bit too silly for whatever reason. While the trailer is pretty good, casting Pedro Pascal as Mr. Fantastic isn't the best choice. Does Pedro Pascal scream nerdy, brilliant scientist? No. I get it...there's, like, acting. Even in the trailer, though, he looks lost. Vanessa Kirby is the Invisible Woman and Joseph Quinn (the long haired rocker dude from Stranger Things) is the Human Torch. The Thing is a special f/x creation. Another weird casting quirk is making Julia Garner, from Netflix's Ozark, the Silver Surfer. Huh? I'm not entirely sure why they would make the Silver Surfer a female. The big bad is Galactus, but they don't reveal what he looks like in the trailer. The Fantastic Four comic books have never been particularly good, and the last two Fantastic Four movies weren't very good (remember Michael Chiklis was The Thing?). This one looks promising, though. The director, Matt Shakman, has only directed TV shows before. He directed every episode of Wanda Vision and 43 episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He also directed two episodes of Game of Thrones. So...he seems to be apt and drama and comedy. The three writers on this wrote various things, including last year's awesome Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes movie, Wanda Vision, and that Carnival Row show that seemingly has been forgotten but was pretty good. I can't even remember the last time I was excited for a Marvel movie, but this one at least looks more promising than the last handful.

HAPPY GILMORE 2 (July 25): Netflix paid Adam Sandler a boat load of money to make movies for them, so I've been wondering when they would be like, hey, buddy, could you make a movie for us that people actually want to see? The original came out in 1996, so the big question is, will anyone under 45 actually care about this? It probably helps that it's going straight to your TV screen. Considering the original was probably his most popular film, I'm sure it'll get a lot of buzz and press. Will it be a good movie? Doubtful. I'd like to see it just because the wrestler MJF from AEW is in it, as are a bunch of real life sports stars, like Jason Kelce. Bad Bunny plays is caddy and Ben Stiller is also in it. 

AUGUST

THE NAKED GUN (August 1): Leslie Neilson is Frank Drebin in this re-make of the funniest movie ever made. I'm not entirely sure what the point of re-making the funniest movie ever made is, but it's happening. The director is Akiva Shaffer, one of guys in the Andy Samberg group, The Lonely Island. A lot of The Lonely Island stuff was funny back in the day, but considering Akiva is flying solo with this one, I'm not expecting much. 

FREAKIER FRIDAY (August 8): Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis are back with this new Freaky Friday. Can you believe that this is actually the 7th Freaky Friday movie? There was one in the 80's called A Billion for Boris. The others all had different casts and Lohan and Curtis starred in the 2003 version. I thought the whole point of this was having a kid trade places with an adult? Lohan is 38.

EDEN (August 22): Ron Howard directs this film starring Jude Law and Sydney Sweeney about European settlers on an island in the Galapagos islands. Man, what was the last good movie Ron Howard made? Willow, probably. And when is Sweeney coming back for season 3 of Euphoria? Those kids are supposed to be in high school. The actors are all going to be, like, 35 by the time it returns. This is another film that played at the Toronto Film Festival way back in September 2024. Going to TIFF is like being in a time machine these days. 

HONEY DON'T! (August 22): Ethan Coen is back flying solo with this film a private investigator and a series of mysterious deaths. The cast is solid: Charlie Day, Aubrey Plaza, Margaret Qualley, and Chris Evans. Coen's last picture, Drive Away Dolls, was unwatchable, though. At least we can all hope Qualley doesn't do another ridiculous Southern accent. I really miss the days when the Coens were making great films. What the heck happened? 

THE THURSDAY MURDER CLUB (August 28): Chris Columbus directed the first two Home Alone films and the first two Harry Potter films. Man, he must be rolling in cash. I wonder how many homes he owns? Well, he's back adapting a book about retirees solving murders. It's going straight to Netflix and stars Pierce Brosnan, Helen Mirren, and Ben Kingsley. 

Review: WOLF MAN

    We're in the January doldrums for movies, the vast, desert landscape where only B-movies, bad movies, and lesser movies come out. That, plus the Oscar hopefuls finally arrive in more places than one or two theaters in New York and L.A. I'm not exactly sure why the "big" movies only come out in the summer and Fall. I'm guessing it's because Hollywood never seemed to make money in January and February with new releases. When a lot of the country is in a deep freeze, though, wouldn't you think they'd want to release some blockbusters? After all, you can't really go outside and do anything, plus the sun sets at 5 PM every day. Wouldn't it make sense that more people would want to go to the movies? We'll never know these days, as the theaters are bereft of anything worth going to see. There have been big movies that have arrived in January and February of course, but they're few and far between and usually movies that have surprised at the box office. The #1 movie opening of all time for January is American Sniper, and that was an out-of-left-field blockbuster. The top 3 openings of all time for February are all Marvel films, but all Marvel films with superheroes that aren't the big ones: Black Panther, Deadpool, and Ant-Man. 

    The biggest movie that's coming out in January or February this year is Captain America: Brave New World. That's a big time film in the sense that's in a Marvel movie, it cost over $300 million to make, and it stars a real movie star, Harrison Ford. It's not a Batman or Spider-Man movie, though, and it features a fairly new, untested Captain America. 

    Besides that, we're pretty much left with the usual trash to clutter movie theaters. Rising out of the stink, at least on paper, is Wolf Man. Leigh Whannell co-created the Saw franchise and the Insidious franchise. He's one of the go-to-guys for making money at the box office with scary movies. Right before the pandemic shut everything down, he had a hit with critics and at the box office with The Invisible Man, his modern take on the classic H.G. Wells story that starred Elisabeth Moss. Apparently he's going to run through making modern takes on all of the classic monsters, as he's back co-writing and directing Wolf Man.

    Obviously, there's a million werewolf movies out there. There was a movie just released called Werewolves that showed up in theaters with literally no TV commercials, fanfare, publicity, or idea of where it came from. You can go order it On Demand right now and probably have a blast because it's not that hard to make a fun, scary, entertaining werewolf flick. 

    The best of the bunch is An American Werewolf in London, but the Lon Cheney original is great and I loved the The Wolfman that starred Benicio Del Toro (granted, nobody else loved that Benicio one). This new one is a modern/realistic take on the classic beast. There's no silver bullets. The wolf man mostly stands on two legs like a person, isn't covered in fur, and doesn't have a snout. There's no shots of a full moon. Actually, this is kind of like that non-zombie movie, 28 Days Later, where it was definitely a zombie movie but actually it wasn't, it was just a virus that made people crazy. Wolf Man isn't exactly a werewolf movie; if you get bit and change, you basically just turn into a crazy person with rabies. 

    The beginning of the film is pretty great. Christopher Abbot is the star. He's fantastic in pretty much everything because he's good at playing a regular, loveable guy. That makes it easy for the audience to identify with his character no matter what he's doing. And the prologue features him as a boy (played by Zac Chandler) going hunting with his domineering, oft-kilter father. They're hunting deer but soon get startled by someone or something in the woods. They get chased up into one of those tree stands where the menacing thing is about to attack but retreats suddenly. Later on, the boy hears his father on the CB radio talking to someone and mentions that he's seen "it" and that "it's real." 

    Cut to years later and Abbot's character, Blake, is a grown man in the city with a wife, Julia Garner, and a daughter, Matilda Firth. We find out that Blake's dad went missing in the woods and was pronounced dead. Blake has to go head back to the Oregon wilderness where his dad lived and clean the place out. This sets up the typical cabin-in-the-woods setting where all hell is about to break loose.

    There is action in Wolf Man and there is some good suspense. Leigh Whannell, who's been around the block with creating jump scares and tension, is definitely a master at this. There are problems, though. First off, there isn't much to this movie. At 90 minutes, there's not a lot of plot or characters or even dialogue. And usually when watching a werewolf movie you want to see the transformation. Will it be gnarly? Gruesome? Just silly, fake-looking special f/x? But this isn't really a werewolf movie. Besides growing some fangs and having his hair fall out, the wolf is more man. If you can get over that, the movie is at least entertaining. The majority of it takes place in one night, so not a lot happens. The movie starts well enough and has a few exciting sequences like the truck crash. I did love the windshield wiper reveal shot and the bloody bear trap scene. Both very cool moments in an otherwise average film.

    In the dead zone winter months for Hollywood, watching a fairly entertaining werewolf picture that's not great but at least watchable will pass the time until the big guns like the new Avatar, Jurassic Park, Mission: Impossible, and Superman movies come out later this year. It's something. **1/2