DISTURBINGLY A BAD MOVIE
(reviewed on video, Friday, January 22nd, 1999)
Imagine this: A dark cliff in some unknown Pacific Northwest town. Douglas Firs all around, muddy earth, and at the base of the cliff a roaring river freshly churned up from the massive waterfall emptying hundreds of gallons of water into the river every minute. On the cliff is an El Camino car. Strapped in the back of the El Camino are about fifty devices that look similar to a boom box radio. Driving the car is a cantankerous old man with sweaty palms who is driving full force off of the cliff. Scrambling to attack the boom box-like devices are maybe twenty-five High Schoolers with varsity football jackets. They’re acting like ravenous beasts as they fall off of the cliff with the car. Sort of like a kamikaze for “Scream”ers.
I just gave away the ending to the recent film, “Disturbing Behavior.” Don’t sweat it, Amigo: If I had known this film actually sunk to this extremely low level of stupidity I would have nodded it off as just another “Peacemaker”.
The plot? Okay. Scott Rosenberg wrote the highly entertaining “Con Air”, so I had somewhat high standards for the script. It’s decent, I just hope that Rosenberg wasn’t behind this above sequence. Let’s hope the second draft was written by some anonymous Ezsterhas hack.
A family moves into a suburb called Cradle Bay (with a name like that how could something bad not happen?) after the main character’s brother had committed suicide for an unrevealed answer (let me guess…he saw where this movie going).
Of course the main character whose name escapes me (if I can’t remember the main character’s name in a movie it spells trouble) ends up befriending three freaks who dress in black. One of them is a decent actor who has all the good lines.
Well the varsity, pro-school High Schoolers who all dress and act the same apparently aren’t as normal as it seems. The school has done experiments on them to make them “perfect students”. Hence, some of the blue ribbon kids who are now public service maestro’s and what-not used to smoke weed and chug from kegs, now they help old ladies across the street and do extra credit.
The main character’s parents eventually sign him up for the program and then the above sequence occurs.
There are a few good scenes in the film. Actually, the movie isn’t that bad, if the driver of the El Camino wasn’t in the film. He ruins it entirely. I guess they had to figure out some plot hole how to stop these experimental kids who, by the way, turn violent when they have sexual thoughts (one in particular interesting scene has a knock-down gorgeous blonde smashing her head into a mirror after she wants to fuck the main character).
This is the kind of film that could have been good, but isn’t. So either stay far, far, away, or watch an hour and a half of the film and then turn it off. *1/2 (out of ****)
