(reviewed at Marple 10 with annie)
There is an ancient law about re-makes. If you re-make something, do it differently! William Shakespeare wrote Hamlet in the year 1600. And even today it’s hard to see a version that isn’t a little bit different. Maybe in one version Ophelia is really insane as opposed to simply confused in another version. Maybe Hamlet is completely over the top in one version, and in another he’s just brooding and sad. Even if a stage or film version of Hamlet shows up set in the exact same time period with the actors acting basically the same, there is always at least a little difference. And that’s why his plays are re-made. There were no stage directions passed on, so directors can do anything with his plays. We got to see a cool new version of Titus Andronicus a few years ago, and how about that neat Ian McKellan Richard III? If you re-make something, change something. Cameron Crowe hasn’t changed a damn thing in his “new” verison of Open Your Eyes, Vanilla Sky. And the only question I have is…why?
Alejandro Amenabar wrote and directed Open Your Eyes in 1998. It was a Spanish film starring Penelope Cruz and a bunch of Spanish unknowns. It was interesting, weird, and pretty wild until the God-awful ending that ruined the entire picture. Tom Cruise and his producing partner, Paula Wagner, produced Amenabar’s The Others this year, so somewhere along the line Cruise came up with his brilliant idea to re-make Open Your Eyes. How Cruise got Cameron Crowe to sign on is beyond me, because before Vanilla Sky, Crowe had a pretty great resume. Crowe was the genius that wrote the book and screenplay Fast Times at Ridgemont High, arguably one of the greatest High School film ever made (my vote is for Dazed & Confused…but you can easily argue for either), and wrote and directed Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous, and a dumb late-80’s film starring John Cusack that I have totally forgotten.
But Cameron Crowe has talent! So it shocked and surprised me that he wrote and directed a film that was already in existence! Tom Cruise had went on numerous TV shows and boasted how this was Crowe’s version of Open Your Eyes, like Crowe was a cover band doing his “own” verison. I’m terribly sorry, but this isn’t Crowe or Cruise’s version! This Vanilla Sky is almost scene by scene the exact same fucking movie! So if you’re going to change nothing…why re-make it??? Sadly, the answer to that is $. You fucked up, Crowe, and I am very sad for you.
In both films (and Abreje Los Ohos was pretty dumb but still better than this) the main character (in Sky it is the awful Tom Cruise) is a handsome, wealthy, popular guy who can have any woman he wants. He has a best friend and some evil co-workers who are trying to take away his political power. He also sleeps with a new woman every night, and his current squeeze is a sex toy played by the feisty Cameron Diaz. Of course, Diaz isn’t “the one.” Cruise falls in love with Penelope Cruz, a really sweet chick. And then things get weird.
I won’t ruin anything, even though the previews even give away THE ENDING!!! Who the fuck runs these studios anymore? The very last scene of the film is IN THE TRAILERS!!! Give me a fucking break, you assholes!!! But I won’t give anything away, just to say that if you expected a sweet romantic lover story like Crowe usually shows us, you are in for a wicked surprise. And that’s why most people will loathe this movie. It’s not for American audiences. They don’t want a mind-fuck. Hell, if you’re going to give us one, at least give us Arnold and explosions, like in Total Recall, which I swear to God Amenabar totally ripped off in the first place.
Both Open Your Eyes and Vanilla Sky are solid movies up until the end. The big revelation in both films is so dumb that every member of every theater across the country will squirm in their seats and say to themselves, “This is so stupid.” And if you’re going to re-make something, why keep the bad parts???
As for the acting job, Tom Cruise is laughably bad. He obviously was a horrible choice for this part. Penelope Cruz is also extra awful. Maybe it was because she had already done this part…much better. Jason Lee more or less sleepwalks through this one. He deserves a bigger role. Kurt Russel is pointless in this film, but the one shining beacon is Cameron Diaz, who proves that she can be just as evil as she is fun.
There’s something about Vanilla Sky that just doesn’t work. The music and style is great, and it works up until a point….but…Tom Cruise and the ending ruin the film. Cruise is awful here. I was laughing when the audience was supposed to feel bad for him. And the ending goes down with A.I. as one of the worst endings in modern film history. The special f/x are what does it ever time.
It’s sad because Cameron Crowe, Jason Lee, Cameron Diaz, and Tom Cruise are such massive talents. Crowe tried his hardest, but it ends up being is fault. Why re-make a movie and not change anything? And why leave a horrible ending intact? I have no idea, but if I were you I’d rent the original and forget that this new version even exists. ** (out of ****)
