THE BEST FILMS OF 2014

1- THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL

2- A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT

 3- BOYHOOD

 4- WHIPLASH

5- NYMPHOMANIAC

6- INHERENT VICE

7- THE BOXTROLLS

8- PALO ALTO

9- THE RAID 2

10- THE ROVER

Review: THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1

     Remember when it was announced that the final book in the series, Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows, was going to split into two films? Remember how dumb that seemed? First off, it wasn't even the longest Harry Potter book and every one was only one film. Second, if any book needed to be two films it was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire which was stuffed to the brim with story and ended up a mediocre, rushed film. But the cash-grab idea caught fire and we soon saw the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn, broken up into two films, a Hobbit book adapted into three films, and now Mockingjay, a relatively short 400 page young adult novel, turned into two films. When will this end? I'm guessing as soon as people see The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. The reason is quite simple: this didn't need to be two films. There's actually barely enough of anything for one compelling film. And what you definitely do not want is an entire film that is all build up with no pay-off. Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 1 had some big action set pieces that made it at least entertaining. Breaking Dawn Part 1 had some big moments including a girl getting married, deflowered, and becoming a vampire. Mockingjay Part 1 is all set-up. It's like a prologue, an appetizer. It is not something you want to go out of your way and pay $11.50 or whatever to see. It will leave you wanting more, yes, obviously, but also unsatisfied and feeling a little bit ripped off. Not to say that it's a bad movie. It's good in spots. It's just missing too much to feel like a real movie.
     If you read the books then you know that this third and final book is perhaps the best written but also the most depressing and the least entertaining. The reason it's my least favorite book in the trilogy is because there's no Hunger Games in it. Even though pitting kids against one another on live TV is a rip-off of everything from The Running Man to The Lord of the Flies to Battle Royale, the excitement, brutality, and drama of the games were what made the first two books and two films so compelling. The third book and film is post-games. It's the lowly rebels of this futuristic society versus the big, powerful, evil city The Capital and its God, President Snow. Mockingjay Part 1 features Katniss, played by Jennifer Lawrence, growing accustomed to her life in the underground District 13 and watching as a war breaks out all around her. All of the usual players are back, although Philip Seymour Hoffman and Woody Harrelson are the only two entertaining and interesting ones. Hoffman gives a laid back, playful, convincing job. Perhaps it's because he's dead that his greatness is amplified, but he really does save this film from being a paint-by-numbers dystopian sci-fi flick like Divergent. It doesn't help that Jennifer Lawrence seems to only be a good actor when she's not being serious, Julianne Moore is practically playing a piece of cardboard, and Liam Hemsworth, who plays Gale, is about as engaging as a rock.
     With so little to work with the film is surprisingly never dull and it does look good. There's some nice apocalyptic shots of destroyed, crumbled cities, a good quiet shot of Gayle and Katniss by a rushing river, and a very cool but eerily similar shot of soldiers dropping down into a city that's reminiscent of a shot in Godzilla earlier this year. But the director, Francis Lawrence (who, unfortunately, was the one that ruined Richard Matheson's I Am Legend by adding a metropolis and Will Smith, among other atrocities), and the cinematographer, Jo Willems, have saved the best scene for last. The last shot, with a character strapped down in a white room on a white bed and thrashing wildly while Katniss peers sadly through the window, is solemn, unflinchingly sad, and not what you expect from a mega-budget popcorn film. It's a terrific final shot. And while it's a great final five seconds, what we all really wanted was something more, at least one great action set piece, a bigger chunk of story, something. Otherwise, what's here leaves us mostly
unfulfilled. **1/2 (****)
    

Review: 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE

If I was a twelve year old boy and somehow got in to see this film I'd probably think it was the greatest film ever made.
What is it with really late sequels? Anchorman 2 just came out a mere nine years after the original and now 300: Rise of an Empire hits eight years after 300. 300 made a ton of cash, spawned an entire parody film and a TV show that featured slo-mo slicing and dicing ancient warriors with special f/x environments. But a new one is here, finally, and it lives up to expectations. There is tons of action with spurting blood and booming, thunderous drum music and hordes of armies and slo-mo dismemberments. This is, pretty much, the ultimate guy's movie. Blood and tits. I'm happy.
The first film was based on an awesome Frank Miller comic book that was loosely based on a presumptious true story about three-hundred Spartan warriors that held off an enormous Persian army thousands of years ago. This new film is also based on a Miller comic book but he hasn't finished it yet so as of now the credits saying the film is based on Xerxes by Frank Miller may be confusing to those surfing Amazon.com looking for it.
The plot sort of shrouds the original film's plot in that this new film is both a prequel and a sequel. Themostikles is the good guy, a proud Athens warrior leading his rag-tag army of supposed farm hands against Artemisia's legion of battle ships heading for Greece. While the lonely 300 are busy dying elsewhere up the coast, Themostikles goes to sea to fight and save his country.
The action scenes are pretty wild. This is, more or less, a modern Grindhouse film. The dialogue, characters, and plot are all seriously inept but the action is visceral, blood-soaked, incredulous, and certainly entertaining if you're a fucking sicko. Limbs fly, blood spurts in geysers, spears impale. It's wholesome fun.
The best part of this film is the action of course, but Eva Green as the super evil Artemisia is on fire here. What a villain. Even during sex she's only capable of hate-fucking. She isn't over-the-top, but she definitely revels in her witch-like she-bitch role.
The film was shot on green-screen sound stages, but it does look incredible. For such a dumb, violent film there is some really beautiful imagery here, especially the scene underwater after a fire bomb has destroyed a Greek ship and we see all of the lifeless bodies in the water amidst the splinters of wood, the weapons, the swirls of blood.
The sequences between the thunderous, visceral action scenes are very dull and borish, but the film is an entertaining popcorn spectacle that is, really, exactly what you might expect. If you're not a twelve year old boy then this might just be bloody fucking stupid tripe but you have to admit either way that it certainly packs a punch. ***

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2014

1- SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR: Crazy that this is even coming out. The first one was released in 2005. Not sure what took so long. Probably Robert Rodriguez's divorce. He didn't make anything for a few years there and now only makes cartoon crap (granted, not that he ever made anything serious or artistic, but I was hoping he'd grow up). I didn't think the original Sin City film was a masterpiece or anything, but it was something new and it looked insane and was fun and I loved seeing the comics come alive. This new one features the tale about a for hire photographer and a cheating wife named Ava. The first film included "Sin City" and "That Yellow Bastard" and "The Big Fat Kill." There are only a few stories left...and I doubt they'd tackle "Hell and Back." Surprise us.

2- THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL: Wes Anderson's latest. The trailer, sadly, gives it all away, but it reinforces the fact that this new one has the same style but seems a bit more light than some of the downer aspects of Tenenbaums and Darjeeling. It looks like a kaleidoscopic candy-color thrill ride of film. It's about a hotel manager, Ralph Fiennes, and a painting and a lobby boy. A popcorn film for the art house connoisseurs.

3- INHERENT VICE: Well now. Paul Thomas Anderson adapting and directing a Pynchon novel, one of his lesser novels, but his first novel to be filmed. Starring the best actor in the world, Joaquin Phoenix, as a pot smoking P.I. Yeah, it's a complete Lebowski rip-off. So what? At least they're ripping off quality.

4- UNDER THE SKIN: After the Toronto film festival, City Paper's film critic wrote about the best film he saw and the one everyone was talking about. He was more excited by it than Gravity. I had never heard of it so quickly watched the trailer (awesome) then read the book (fucking weird...semi-good). The story is basically what if aliens treated humans like Thanksgiving turkeys. They capture, pen, drug, fatten, butcher us. That's the book anyway, written by Crimson Petal and the White's Michel Faber. The film does feature Scarlett Johansson as the alien that picks up hitchhikers in Scotland and kidnaps them. This critic may have loved it for the gratuitous nudity...but it looks incredible nonetheless.

5- INTERSTELLAR: Christopher Nolan's latest featuring Christian Bale is about...space? It's veiled in secrecy, but he always makes awesome films. Bring it on.

6- THE HOBBIT: THERE AND BACK AGAIN: Everyone seemed to hate the last two...not sure why as they're more or less the same as The Lord of the Rings trilogy, albeit a bit lighter. This last one features the final battle against the dragon and some big battle between several armies. Can't wait.

7- THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1: So I didn't even see the second film yet and I loathed this last book (except for the final lines between Peeta and Katniss). I still want to see what they do with this. First off, this last book doesn't feature a Hunger Games and is totally bleak (Katniss' sis dies...Peeta is brainwashed and totally fucked up). But I loved the first film. There is a lot of action in this last book. It'll be cool to see the dystopian world during battle put on screen. I am curious if it'll be as sadistically morbid as the book, though.

8- THE RAID 2: The first one featured a police raid on a drug-dealer owned/controlled apartment building. It was brutal, action packed, wild. Curious about this encore. The first film featured what I thought was the longest kung-fu fight sequence ever. It was exhaustingly awesome. With a sequel I figure they're probably going to try make it even more intense and I can't even fathom that.

9- INTO THE WOODS: Sondheim's fairy tale musical. I've never seen it...and it's not famous enough to have produced any songs I've heard of...but Sweeney Todd is great, Johnny Depp is the Big Bad Wolf and Meryl Streep is in it. Might be a total mess but it's at least intriguing.

10- GODZILLA: A new one, obviously, that hasn't come too far ahead of the last remake, although time flies 'cause Emmerich's debacle hit in '98. This looks awesome. It's not ha-ha fluff, it looks like serious business. No big stars but the f/x look sweet. Might be the surprise of the summer.

THE 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2013- REVISITED

10- NYMPHOMANIAC: Well it was released...in Europe, in an edited, four-hour version. The "real" five and a half hour super porn version is still out there, and it's being released in two parts in the U.S. in the Spring. Looks, sounds amazing.

9- SNOWPIERCER: Didn't come out. The trailer looks intriguing. I have no idea when it's being released.

8- STOKER: Terrible. A really awful, soulless film. 1/2*

7- STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS: You can read my review. Scroll down. **1/2

6- THE GREAT GATSBY: Good. Stylish. It entertained me. Nothing special, really, but worth a glance. **1/2

5- MAN OF STEEL: Semi-entertaining. A truly awful opening on Krypton. The rest has some good action. Pretty forgettable, though. Even comic book writers these days can't figure out Superman, so what chance does Hollywood? **1/2

4- THE WORLD'S END: Glorious. Before the robot apocalypse action stuff it's a terrific film with spot-on dialogue and a dark undertone...then it gets entertaining but sort of falls apart. One of the year's best, though. ***1/2

3- THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG: Not as good as the first one. I'm the only one who thought that. I love these movies, though. The dragon is epic. Some silly action mars it, but I enjoyed the ride. ***

2- BEFORE MIDNIGHT: A disappointment. I adored the second one. This one just feels like walking in place. *1/2

1- THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE: Didn't see it. You would think I would have, since it was the most anticipated...