PUNCH-TO-THE-GUT Film Reviews: January 2016

1- ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY: This one will be, at the very least, interesting. It's the first of many standalone Star Wars films. It won't feature the old or new regular characters...so will it even look and feel like a Star Wars film? Or will it end up like those weird Ewok movies nobody remembers? They do have the Godzilla director, Gareth Evans, at the helm. And Felicity Jones, Mads Mikkelsen, and Forest Whitaker star. The plot has something to do with a group of good guys attempting to steal the plans to the Death Star before it was built. It definitely has all the right pieces for an awesome film.

2- BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE: Yes, Zack Snyder hasn't made a good film since that Dawn of the Dead remake, and even that was unnecessary. But even if this is a train wreck, it sure as hell should be entertaining as hell with Benn Affleck as Batman and Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. Not to mention that Wonder Woman is in this and Michael Shannon is back, this time as Doomsday. They'll probably never make a really good Superman movie, but this at least looks like the big, dumb kind of movie you go and see in a packed theater and have a blast with.

3- MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIARS: The book, by Ransom Riggs, was published by Philly's own Quirk Books and has become a pretty big hit. I suppose I should read it...someday. The story is about a mysterious island that once housed a school for peculiar children. I think time travel is involved. But either way, it sounds right up director Tim Burton's alley. And while he hasn't made a masterpiece in over twenty years, he at least still entertains (Dark Shadows was a lot of fun and Sweeney Todd was a good one). This one stars Eva Green, Samuel L. Jackson, and Judi Dench.

4- FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM: J.K. Rowling wrote the script...so that's something. It takes place in America in the 1920's. Apparently a few beasts get loose and Eddie Redmayne, a wizard, has to stop them. What we're all hoping is that this is as good as a Harry Potter film. Will it be? Will there be a good villain, good characters, humor, action, drama? Even if it's half as good as any of the Potter films it'll be awesome.

5- THE NICE GUYS: Shane Black is back as writer/director on this action/comedy starring Russel Crowe and Ryan Gosling. The trailer makes it look like a Pulp Fiction/In Bruges type of romp. Black, obviously, knows how to write. He wrote Lethal Weapon, The Monster Squad, and The Last Boy Scout. His last job was directing Iron Man 3, so he at least knows his way around directing big action spectacles. This movie looks so funny and so crazy. I really can't wait to see this.

6- HAIL, CAESAR!: The Coen brothers are back with this 50's Hollywood-set comedy starring George Clooney, Jonah Hill, Scarlett Johannson, and Channing Tatum. They've been trying to make this film for years, so maybe this means they wrote it when they were still writing great films (let's face it, their films haven't been that good since 2000's O, Brother, Where Art Thou?...and that wasn't as good as 98's The Big Lebowski...and that wasn't as good as 96's Fargo). Still, even their failures are inventive and amusing, and they do always bring something stylish and different to the multiplex. And this one does look like a hell of a lot of fun.

7- X-MEN: APOCALYPSE: I'm probably the only person on Earth who thinks Brett Ratner directed the best X-Men film (the third one, X-Men: The Last Stand, which was what a superhero movie is supposed to be: fun). But Bryan Singer has made four of them now and his last one, the time-traveling X-Men: Days of Future Past, was his best. So he at least knows what he's doing and we know what to expect from this one. Apocalypse, played by Oscar Isaac, is the villain in this new film. It also has the 70's X-Men in it instead of the current crew for no good reason (I guess Hugh Jackman and Ian McKellan were busy?). That means Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Fassbender are back...which is okay by me. Should be a good, entertaining, sci-fi/action spectacle.

8- CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR: The second Captain America film, where he battled the Winter Soldier, was one of Marvel's better films, thanks mostly to some awesome action sequences. And this one is more of the same but with Iron Man and Ant-Man added to the mix. This means we'll get action plus the amusing hilarity of Paul Rudd and Robert Downey, Jr. Win win.

9- STAR TREK BEYOND: J.J. Abrams quit to do Star Wars, so this third Star Trek film with the new cast has Justin Lin directing. He directed four Fast & Furious films, so he at least probably knows how to put a good action sequence on screen. The big reason that this film might be more funny and entertaining than the first two Star Trek films is that Simon Pegg helped write the script. The trailer makes it look great, too. The crew of the Enterprise is trapped on an alien planet while Idris Elba is wreaking havoc as the alien villain, Krall.

10- SUICIDE SQUAD: Jared Leto is The Joker and Margot Robbie is Harley Quinn. And, honestly, that's probably all you need to know. The comic book the film is based on is about a group of villains hired by the government to help them on suicide missions no one else would bother doing. The trailer makes it look wild and action packed. David Ayer, who last made the terrible Fury, is directing. It might be a mess, but it sure looks intriguing.