THE BEST FILMS OF 2017

1- DUNKIRK

2- THE LURE

 3- SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

4- LOGAN LUCKY

5- THE LOST CITY OF Z

6- I,TONYA

7- CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

8-OKJA

9- THE BAD BATCH

10- THOR: RAGNORAK

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2017 REVISITED

1- STAR WARS EPISODE 8: reviewed **1/2

2- KONG: SKULL ISLAND: This has a great opening sequence with two crashed WW2 fighters. The rest is entertaining but never awesome. A great cast and King Kong and monsters sounds like a wild film, right? Unfortunately it was a bit of a disappointment. **

3- JUSTICE LEAGUE: This was a complete mess. The new Barry Allen (The Flash) is terrific and funny. The plot is a been-there-done-that bore, though. I'm probably the only person on earth to say this, but Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice was a hell of a lot better. With Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman all together you would have expected something much more substantial. *1/2

4- ANNIHILATION: This was bumped to the Spring. It looks great and is apparently going to debut on Netflix now.

5- ALIEN: COVENANT: A bad movie. It has a good, interesting, cool looking set up but goes nowhere. The scene with the xenomorph hanging off the spacecraft at the end during the big climax is extremely stupid and silly. Casting comedian Danny McBride in this didn't help, either. Prometheus was a let down but better. How hard is it to make a good Alien film? Apparently incredibly difficult. *1/2

6- SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING: A great film and the best superhero film in some time. The new Spider-Man is note-perfect. The twist ending is awesome. And this is just so much fun. A total blast. ***1/2

7- VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS: Didn't see it yet. It got bad reviews.

8- T2: TRAINSPOTTING: Well it looks great; it's well shot and bright and stylish. The problem is the mediocre script and dull plot. Maybe they had fun getting back together and making it but it ended up being unnecessary and pointless. **

9- THE DARK TOWER: Didn't see it. It got terrible reviews.

10- THOR: RAGNORAK: This was super entertaining and very funny. The Marvel movies have basically become comedies now and I guess that's okay. ***

Review: STAR WARS EPISODE IIX: THE LAST JEDI

     Last year, months before Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, was released, the news got out that the film was going back into production for around a month to re-shoot some of the film. Rumors blazed through the internet about the brass being unhappy with the final product and changes were going to be implemented. The story that made the papers was that they were just doing typical re-shoots and adding some character depth. What really happened is probably only known to those that made the movie, but after the recent Lucasfilm shakeups, I think it's fairly obvious what occurred. Kathleen Kennedy, who took the helm of the studio after George Lucas sold it to Disney, seems like some sort of all-knowing, all-seeing tyrant that only does what she wants and forces those making "her" movies to adhere to her strict guidelines. She seems to be the type of person who, as a child, refused to color outside the lines on principle. The Star Wars franchise is a money printing machine, so I suppose a tyrant to keep people in line is sensible, but is this ultimately a death knell for creativity?
     The third main film in the new trilogy, Episode IX, was supposed to be directed by Jurassic World's Colin Trevorrow. He stepped down (supposedly) before actual shooting the film but being involved for a lengthy period. The reason seemed to be that his vision didn't line up with Lucasfilm's...so they hired JJ Abrams to come back. And next May's Han Solo film replaced its directors (the duo that directed The Lego Movie) with Ron Howard mid-shoot because, again, their vision wasn't right. Who knows why Trevorrow was fired or quit, but it's fairly obvious that Lucasfilm didn't want Solo being a lark in the park comedy fest like The Lego Movie, which it was probably turning out to be until boring Ron Howard righted the ship to vanilla waters.
     This is all typical Hollywood, of course. The bigwigs in their CEO offices make the decisions while the creative folk cower in their lower caste, windowless cells. But if the current Star Wars blitz that will never end (a movie a year forever! a TV show on Disney's streaming service!) is going to be handcuffed by Kathleen Kennedy and the Lucasfilm bigwigs...this, sadly, probably means we won't be getting a great, fresh, original Star Wars movie in the future. Sure, we'll get good, entertaining films like The Force Awakens and Rogue One that basically recycle past glories and old tropes from the originals. You'll still see jedi's and Chewbaca and light saber duels. But what you probably won't be seeing is anything like the original Star Wars; something bold, alien, and thrillingly new. And that's a shame.
     Episode IIX, The Last Jedi, is, unfortunately, not as good as The Force Awakens or Rogue One, though it is light years better than those God-awful prequel monstrosities. It has some entertaining space battles, a well-shot final fight, a great performance by Mark Hamil, but also a lot of miscues, a lot of cringe-inducing silliness, and a lot of dead-end story mistakes. The big problem is that, unlike, say, The Empire Strikes Back, this film is merely just a popcorn movie. It's fun, it's entertaining, but it needs to be reaching to new heights instead of falling back on what's been done before.
     The basic plot in this one has Mark Hamil finally returning as Luke Skywalker. He only showed up in The Force Awakens at the end in the wordless, climax cameo. Well he's back as a depressed, broken old hermit living on an island and given up on being a hero. Let me guess: at the end he turns into the hero and saves the day? I suppose anyone could have written that ending, and, like all of these new Star Wars films, there aren't really any surprises that are worth it. Which means that since The Force Awakens copied the original Star Wars script, this copies Empire. There's no ice monster but there is Luke teaching Rey in the middle of nowhere like grumpy Yoda did with Luke in the swamp in Empire. Instead of Cloud City in Empire we get a casino planet (and a casino planet sounds a lot cooler than it is...what we end up with is fake looking lamas horse racing). And instead of the walkers marching to take down a Rebel base on Hoth like in Empire we get walkers marching to take down a Rebel base on a red salt planet (which is, granted, visually cool). There's also the will-you-join-the-dark-side fight/argument like in Empire between Vader and Luke but here it's between Rey and Kylo Ren. And while some of the dark side/Jedi stuff is played as being super serious and earth shatteringly relevant, it doesn't mesh well with the fact that writer/director Rian Johnson (who's first feature, the High School noir, Brick, is terrific) has made a lot of this film a knee-slapping comedy. I did laugh. A lot of this is hilarious, but it's hard to have Empire-style Vader/Luke hand-cutting-off drama when you're busy cracking jokes along the way. You either want it to be high drama or a typical, fun summer popcorn spectacle. You can't really do both and still get a masterpiece result unless you're a master. And Rian Johnson proves that while he's a good director, he's no George Lucas.
     I suppose if you're a kid then this is all new and fresh and cool, but it really feels like they're not even trying too hard. Adam Driver, as the Vader-esque Kylo Ren, does seem to be doing a better job acting wise in this than in The Force Awakens, although by the end he doesn't exactly come across as any sort of great evil to care about. Oscar Isaac, as the Han Solo-esque Poe Dameron, is great, and Hamil fucking kills it, albeit in the ultimate let-down of a story he's given to work with. The rest of the new cast in this trilogy is a fun, amusing bunch, but are they enough to carry their own into the final film? Carrie Fisher is dead and they killed off Han Solo in the last one. Yoda shows up in this as a ghost so I suppose they can still lamely bring back some of the old crew as lively, encouraging spirits in the final go round. But who the hell wants to see that? The whole point of bringing back Luke, Leia, and Han was to, you know, have a movie with them together. They screwed that up by not having Luke in The Force Awakens until the last shot and now it's too late. What was once a promising reunion turned into this; an entertaining, mildly amusing new trilogy that, sadly, could've, should've, would've been something a lot better. **1/2


    

Review: BABY DRIVER

     In March, Baby Driver premiered to ecstatic acclaim at the SXSW festival, so much so that the studio decided to move up the release date from the dead of August to late June. This didn't seem like such a shock. A fanboy audience went wild for a car chase movie from the director of Shaun of the Dead. Everyone could see that coming a mile away. The real surprise in all of this is that the film isn't some sort of crazy, cool Midnight Movie fun house joy ride. It's more silly than cool. It's more brutally violent than funny. And at the end of the day it's basically a semi-entertaining, superfluous, by the numbers crime picture. What Baby Driver really needed, of course, was Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.
     After The World's End came out, it was pretty much cemented that Edgar Wright was truly one of the best writer/directors working today. We all pretty much knew that, though. His TV show Spaced was great, as was his first feature, the zombie comedy Shaun of the Dead. After Hot Fuzz he decided to forge his own path and make something without his comedic sidekicks, Frost and Pegg. And while he did dazzle us with the style, kinetic editing and pizzazz in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, something felt missing. That would be the actors Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. The trio gloriously returned for The World's End, the super-stylized, action comedy that dealt with male malaise, regret, heavy drinking, world domination, and robots. There's an obvious thread here. Edgar Wright is a great writer and director. He's one of the best filmmakers out there. Yet he only knocks it out of the park if he has his two buddies in his films. Hell, his short, "Don't," in Grindhouse was fucking hilarious. And, yep, Nick Frost was in it.
     Baby Driver, written and directed by Wright, seems like an obvious home-run. It's a car chase film with a ton of music. Surely a director known for fast-paced editing and style and comedy and zaniness will make a masterpiece out of a movie starring fast cars, Kevin Spacey, Jon Hamm, and Jamie Fox. Right? You would think. And while the film is certainly entertaining in spots, it also feels way too much like just another same-old, forgettable, mass produced Hollywood movie involving bank robbers that plays constantly on the USA network.  
     Ansel Elgort, forever known as the dead kid in The Fault in our Stars, plays "Baby," a fresh-faced kid who has expert driving skills. He uses these skills to drive getaway cars for bank robbers. But there's more! His hearing is messed up so he has to constantly listen to music. Now, obviously, for this film to work the music has to be outstanding. Wright does know his music. Who could forget the use of "White Lines" in Shaun of the Dead? But the soundtrack for Baby Driver is no Rushmore or Pulp Fiction soundtrack. There actually isn't a great song in the entire film. Which doesn't help, especially considering that the film is almost a musical. The characters sing along at certain moments. Even Ansel Elgort dances while he walks as if he's Fred Astaire or something. And if you think that's silly and odd, why is Ansel Elgort's foster father a deaf, old, black man in a wheelchair?
     Wright does deliver a few entertaining chase sequences. And there are a few laughs (Mike Myers' Halloween mask gets the biggest laugh even though it's in the trailer). What starts as a pretty nifty spectacle soon devolves into a bloody mess, however, both realistically and figuratively. By the end, when we're down to a violent Hamlet-esque climax, I kept thinking that, man, this movie would have been a lot funnier, cooler, and better if Simon Pegg and Nick Frost were in it. And, sure, it's good to try new things and branch out but let's face it: Frost and Wright and Pegg can only make good movies when they're together for whatever reason. And forget the reaction Baby Driver had there. Can you imagine the SXSW fanboys seeing a Four Flavours Cornetto movie? They'd break the fucking internet. **1/2


     

Review: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

    I've pretty much forgotten about what happened in the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie even though it only came out a few years ago. That doesn't say a lot about the current Hollywood super-hero surge. They do all tend to blur together, especially the Marvel ones. Cue the hero, the wisecracks, the villain, and the action finale with multiple explosions. But since we're heading into the summer movie season, it's hard to really complain. If you go to a packed theater on a Friday night with a raucous crowd, of course you want pure bliss entertainment. Who cares if a few years later what you saw is forgotten? You were there, you recall. You smiled. You laughed. You forgot about the trials and tribulations of daily life for two hours and left happy. Isn't that good enough? And that's pretty much what you're paying for if you see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. It's fun, it's funny, it's entertaining, but it's also the same old, cliche-heavy spectacle you've seen from Marvel and Hollywood for years.
     I've read comic books since the late 80's and had never even heard of The Guardians of the Galaxy until the movie came out. Marvel was either really flailing for new movies to make or I was just oblivious. Either way, director and co-writer James Gunn, of Slither fame, made a fun, surprise hit of a movie the first time around. I can't remember the plot or the villain, but I do remember the characters, the 70's music, and that it was enjoyable. It was also a stroke of genius casting Chris Pratt, the goofy, ex-fat guy from the Parks & Recreation TV show. Now Pratt is a bonafide, buff movie star. Who saw that coming?
     Since the first film was a hit ($700 million worldwide!), this new one has gotten the red carpet treatment. Famous names: Kurt Russel! Sylvester Stallone in a one-minute, superfluous cameo! A bigger budget (even though 99% of it was filmed on a green screen set). And a hot release date (the first weekend of May). The best thing Marvel has done, though, is let James Gunn write and direct. It definitely pays off that Gunn wrote the script. While the story is so-so, the film has a ton of humor in it. From the quips to the physical comedy, a lot of this is genuinely hilarious. I somehow doubt that would have happened if this script was melded together by seventeen different screenwriters like it's usually done with these super-hero flicks.
     The basic plot in this film is the classic lost boy goes home trope. Chris Pratt is Peter Quill, a half Earthling that is part of the rag-tag group known as the Guardians of the Galaxy. He only knew that his mom was a human and his dad was some stranger from the stars. His father finds him and chaos ensues! It would probably help if you saw (and remembered) the first film. The old cast is back; Rocket Raccoon, the talking raccoon character voiced by Bradley Cooper that is half-amusing and half-annoying, Drax, the muscled alien played by the old WWE wrestler Dave Bautista (who gets all the funny lines in this one), Gamora, the green-skinned alien played by Star Trek's Zoe Saldana, and Groot, voiced, apparently, by Vin Diesel, who is now Baby Groot for some reason. Michael Rooker as the blue-skinned Yondu is back as well, and the evil blue-skinned cyborg lady Nebula played by Dr. Who's Karen Gillan returns (yes, in space everyone must have various colored skin...because it's cool!). If you have no idea who these characters are, then you'll be totally lost here. But the jokes are amusing and the film is entertaining, so it won't be a dull lost.
     By the end of this film, when an entire planet is exploding and ships are flying and shooting all over the place and everything is moving, the movie becomes a sloppy, silly mess. And if it's one negative in this movie it's that there aren't really any good action scenes. No great choreographed fisticuffs or awe-inspiring chase scenes. The film pretty much only works when it's dealing with hijinks and jokes. And the core group of characters are a truly entertaining bunch. I'd almost rather just see them bickering in a Seinfeld coffee shop than running around in space blowing things up.
     The best sequence in the entire film is the opening credits. While the gang is fighting a squid-like monstrosity in the blurred out background, the camera is focused on Baby Groot dancing to "Mr. Blue Sky" by E.L.O. while the credits slap onto the screen. It's kind of apt; there is action, but the focus is on the music, the comedy, the fun. A thousand people die in this movie but who cares? It's summer movie season! *** (out of ****)

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2017

1- STAR WARS EPISODE 8: The thing I'm looking forward to the most in 2017 is the new season of Twin Peaks on Showtime. But, alas, this is the most anticipated films, and so the new Star Wars will have to do. J.J. Abrams and crew did a fantastic job last time out at setting up a world filled with not only the old crew but new, interesting characters (except for the villain...Adam Driver is not villainous). It was also, gulp, a lot of fun. Rian Johnson is writing/directing this new one. Johnson does have some sci-fi and f/x work under his belt from Looper, but his best and coolest film with probably always be the teenage noir flick, Brick. The less we say about The Brothers Bloom, the better. I'm actually interested in seeing more of Rey's journey and of course it'll be nice to see Mark Hamill back for more than a few seconds and also to see Carrie Fisher's last work. And even though thanks to Disney I'll probably eventually be sick of Star Wars, right now I'm still an excited fan boy. Bring it on.   

2- KONG: SKULL ISLAND: King Kong is awesome. So why aren't there more Kong films? Maybe they realize that you can't do better than the original so why try? Either way, here's a new one, set in the 1970's (probably to explain why Google Maps didn't reveal the island). A group shows up at the island and...what? Fight Kong? Who knows? Who cares about plot? It's John Goodman and Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson and Tom Hiddleston on Skull Island. And it looks awesome.

3- JUSTICE LEAGUE: Even though I'm excited to see this, it'll probably be an epic mess. And since we've already seen Batman and Superman together in a film...so what's so great about this? Well...it's The Flash, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman as well. It's DC's version of The Avengers. Which means this'll be huge. Or will it? Everyone except me and Steven Rea hated BvS. Affleck was a laughing stock post-Gigli until Argo and then he decided he liked being a laughing stock so he went and did a Batman movie. But Affleck is great as Batman. Gal Gadot is an awesome WW. The problem is they've brought back director Zack Snyder again, regardless of his track record. But this is the type of movie that going to the movies is made for. A packed house on a Friday night, raucous crowd, action, laughs, special f/x galore. It'll be a spectacle at least.   

4- ANNIHILATION: This is adapted from the first book of a trilogy. I only read the first one, and while it's good and interesting, it's also a copy of the great movie Stalker, from Andrei Tarkovsky, which was also based on a book. Both are about a government quarantined mystery zone that people venture into. This new film has Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaac, and Jennifer Jason Leigh. But the reason I'm anticipating this is because Alex Garland is writing/directing it. Garland wrote 28 Days Later and made Ex-Machina, two of the best films to come out in the last twenty years. I expect great things from this, unlike Blade Runner 2049, which didn't make the list.

5- ALIEN: COVENANT: Fuck Prometheus. Just give us xenomorphs killing humans in space. It isn't difficult. Is it? Prometheus made no sense, but the end was promising when they charted course to the planet that apparently is where the aliens are. I guess this is a sequel? The trailer looks awesome. Can Ridley Scott still direct a good movie at age 78? Will Danny McBride being in this movie make it less scary? There hasn't been a good Alien movie since 1986. It's about time for one. 

6- SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING: Even bad Spider-man movies are pretty good (re: Spider-man 3). The character, villains, and world are so great that, really, it's tough to mess it up. But this new one with a fresh cast actually does look like a hell of a lot of fun. Tom Holland's Spider-man was the best part of last year's Captain America: Civil War, and his scene at home with Robert Downey, Jr.'s Tony Stark was hilarious...so it's a good thing that Robert Downey, Jr. is back as Iron Man in this film and Tom Holland as Parker gets to star. Plus there's Michael Keaton as the villain, Vulture, the fact that it's Peter Parker in High School, and sidekick Ganke from the comic books is in it, albeit re-named. Should be one of the better summer popcorn flicks.   

7- VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS: Writer/director Luc Besson's last big-budget, sci-fi spectacle, The Fifth Element, was pretty to look at but mostly awful. That was twenty years ago, so perhaps he's learned his lesson. And he hasn't made any great films since then, but Angel-A was good and, let's face it, even Besson's bad movies are usually more interesting than the best Hollywood movies these days. This new one is based on an old French comic book about aliens and time travel and galactic warriors and worlds. It stars super-model/actress Cara Delevingne, singer Rhianna, and the kid that played Harry Osbourne in The Amazing Spider-Man, Dane DeHann. It looks wild and weird and just what you want out of a summer film.

8- T2: TRAINSPOTTING: The gang's all back...21 years later. Sequels usually suck, but at least they've brought back the same writer, producer, director, and stars. And Trainspotting was one of the best movies ever made. That sequence that starts with Mark Renton necking in the back of the cab set to "Atomic" by Sleeper and ends with all three dudes at their respective flats having sex is still one my favorite scenes in film. Trainspotting is just one of those movies that feels like an adrenaline rush while watching it. So, really, good luck recapturing that magic. But it'll be fun to see them try. It's said to be loosely based on the book sequel, Porno, which I heard was just awful. Let's just hope it's more of an Empire Strikes Back than a Clerks 2. 

9- THE DARK TOWER: This Stephen King book, The Gunslinger (which is book 1 of the 8 part Dark Tower series) came out in 1982. Crazy that it took this long to be adapted, as even very short King stories have been made into movies over the years (remember Graveyard Shift?). And who knows if we'll ever see any of the sequels, but this is a start at least. Matthew McConaughey is the villain, The Man in Black, who's pursuing The Gunslinger, played by Idris Elba, across a bizarre, fantasy land. The co-writer and director is the Danish Nikolaj Arcel, who directed the foreign version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and also the very good A Royal Affair that had Alicia Vikander and Mads Mikkelsen. So they have a good director, a great cast, and a fairly interesting novel to work with. What could possibly go wrong?   

10- THOR: RAGNORAK: The second Thor film was one of the better Marvel films to be released amidst their current surge. This one is big, though, because it has Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Strange and Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk. When you figure in the usual Thor cast (Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hiddleston, Idris Elba, Chris Hemsworth) plus Cate Blanchett and Jeff Goldblum, the budget for actors must be $100 million. But fuck budget, actors, and whatever lame plot this has. The only reason I want to see this is because they got Taika Waititi to direct it. Wait, what? He is, without a doubt, one of the best writer/directors out there. He worked on Flight of the Conchords, directed a handful of The Inbetweeners episodes, and made two of the weirdest, funniest, coolest films of the past few years (What We Do in the Shadows and Hunt for the Wilderpeople). I have no idea what he's doing directing a mega-budget, Hollywood film, but I don't care. I expect greatness.

THE BEST FILMS OF 2016

                                                              1- Girl Asleep

                                                           2- The Nice Guys

                                            

                                           3- Hunt for the Wilderpeople

                                                  

                                                         4- Sing Street

                                           

                                              5- Everybody Wants Some!!

                                                         6- Finding Dory

                             

                    7- Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them

                                                       

                                                              8- Moana

                                                  

                                 9- Morris from America

                                                      10- The Wailing

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2016 REVISITED

1- ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY: After those awful Star Wars prequels, pretty much any new Star Wars would look like the greatest movie ever made. But I'm glad to say that so far, Disney is 2 for 2. This new one, another prequel, is very entertaining. There's no light sabers or Jedi in it and, honestly, I didn't even notice or care. *** (out of ****)

2- BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE: I'm probably one of the few people on Earth that enjoyed this film. But, c'mon, Ben Affleck is a perfect Batman. Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman was awesome. It was big and dumb but a good popcorn extravaganza nonetheless. And admit it; Nolan's Batman films were not comic book films. This is a comic book film. ***

3- MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIARS: Haven't seen it yet. Reviews were average. It does look awful, however. And perhaps it's time to finally admit that Tim Burton lost his touch.

4- FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM: Yes, it's fantastic. I think the reason is obvious; J.K. Rowling wrote a great script. Which shouldn't be a surprise, as her post-Potter work, The Casual Vacancy and The Cuckoo's Calling, were both great. This film is fun but also dark and has the best last shot of any film in 2016. ***1/2 

5- THE NICE GUYS: Perhaps the most entertaining film ever made. I rarely laugh out loud at anything but I'm still chuckling at that "hat rack" line. This was, obviously, super unoriginal, but just so much fun it didn't matter. Too bad it was kind of a bomb because I want ten sequels. ***1/2

6- HAIL, CAESAR!: A dud. The Coen's haven't made a good movie in years. This was just dull and went nowhere, although the musical number in the saloon is mildly amusing. *1/2

7- X-MEN: APOCALYPSE: Reviewed. **1/2

8- CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR: Entertaining in spots but surely one of the lesser Marvel films. New Spider-Man, Tom Holland, stole the show. Which bodes well for the upcoming Spider-Man: Homecoming. **1/2

9- STAR TREK BEYOND: A shocking disappointment. How do you fuck up a Star Trek film with this stellar cast and a decent story? I guess blame J.J. Abrams, who left this franchise to do Star Wars: The Force Awakens. New director Justin Lin, famous for directing some of the Fast & Furious films, really dropped the ball on this. A lot of this film is just an incoherent, special f/x blur. *1/2 

10- SUICIDE SQUAD: Another mega-disappointment and probably the worst film of 2016. Margot Robbie is great as Harley Quinn but they didn't give Jared Leto's Joker enough to do and the script is atrocious. I loathed director David Ayer's last picture, Fury, so I guess I shouldn't have expected him to work wonders in the capes genre. Still, a competent writer/director like Joss Whedon could've easily knocked this out of the park. *