THE ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATIONS (BEST PICTURE) REVIEWS

FORD V FERRARI: For the second straight year, I saw every film nominated for Best Picture when the nominations were released. You can probably thank the internet for this, as most of these end up online illegally while still in theaters, although Marriage Story and The Irishman were released on Netflix. I did actually go to a movie theater to see Little Women, 1917 (that was an early, free screening), and Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood. Three of the films that were nominated will end up on my Best of the Year list, which is usually out of the ordinary. The only film I didn't like at all was Joker, which, unsurprisingly, got the most nominations of any film. Ford v Ferrari is probably the slickest, most pure Hollywood film of all the nominees. It's basic, edgeless, and oh-so vanilla. Christian Bale is terrific in it, as he always is, but other than that there isn't much to recommend. The story is interesting, although it's such a good story that I'd actually have rather watched a documentary with the real footage of everything. The film is mildly entertaining but makes a crucial mistake late by ending on the wrong note. **1/2

THE IRISHMAN: At three and a half hours, this feels more like a TV mini-series than a movie (it probably doesn't help that everyone watched it on TV on Netflix). While it is engrossing and a good film, it's no Goodfellas, which was the type of movie that was kinetic and alive and thrilling. This is slow, methodical, though it does have a great performance by Al Pacino as Jimmy Hoffa and a good performance by the returning Joe Pesci. One major problem is having Robert Deniro play the same character as a young man and an old man with only lame, fake looking special f/x to differentiate his youth. Anyone (and there are a lot of them) saying this is a masterpiece and one of Scorsese's best is either a fool or just has to go back and watch Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, or Goodfellas again to realize how idiotic they are. ***

JOJO RABBIT: I loved this film, but that's not a big surprise as I'm a fan of everything Taiki Waititi does. This film has been loved by audiences and loathed by a number of critics. I guess critics don't like zany humor involving Hitler. Critics want serious, smart humor? I guess those same critics dislike The Three Stooges. Or maybe it is just that this is a comedy romp while also being about Hitler and the horrors of WW2. I don't know...I thought this movie was creative as hell, laugh out loud hilarious, and had a great script. It's super entertaining and made me cry, and I loved the ending. It's one of the year's best. ***1/2

JOKER: I still can't figure out why anyone liked this movie. Maybe it's because I read comic books, so a dark, serious, sadomasochistic Joker without Batman around isn't exactly anything new. It's new to those who found this take fresh and bold, which it isn't. It's The King of Comedy and Taxi Driver combined, that's all it is. And I can't possibly be the only one that thinks a Batman movie without Batman is a dumb idea, right? I think that Joaquin Phoenix is the best actor on the planet but even I thought his performance was forgettable and uninteresting. The movie held my interest and isn't exactly boring, but it wallows in its grimness and story-wise there isn't anything there. **

LITTLE WOMEN: This is a great film, nearly flawless. It was nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Film, got a Best Actress nomination for Saorise Ronan, and got a Best Supporting Actress nomination for Florence Pugh (who might just be the best actress working today, as she was terrific in Midsommar). So of course Greta Gerwig wasn't nominated for Best Director. Jesus Christ, Hollywood hates women unless they're taking off their clothes, don't they? This film is gorgeous to look at, wildly engaging, funny, heartfelt, and has such a great cast that fits together like a glove. I guess the only real problem I have is that this book has been adapted multiple times and Gerwig is such a creative person, why the fuck didn't she just make something original instead? ***1/2

MARRIAGE STORY: While it's very well done and well written and well acted, it's also super depressing and sad. So probably only watch this if afterwards you want to slit your wrists. The best scene is Adam Driver singing a song from Sondheim's Company in a piano bar...which made me ponder why writer/director Noah Baumbach didn't just make a film adaptation of Company instead. Baumbach and Gerwig have been dating for years and both of their films were nominated for Best Picture but not Best Director. Does Hollywood hate this power couple for some reason? ***

1917: Reviewed. ***

ONCE UPON A TIME...IN HOLLYWOOD: I briefly reviewed this when I ranked it last on my Quentin Tarantino Movies Ranked list. It's not bad, just too meandering and about half as good as Tarantino at his best. **

PARASITE: Finally the best director working today, Boon Jo-Hong, gets his due. This film already won the Palm D'or at Cannes, so I guess he already did (and he ain't fucking winning this). The reason that this film is probably better than anything nominated is the fact that it's original. It's set in modern times, is unique, is definitely of-the-moment, and is chock full of surprises, twists, and turns, and has a hell of great end note. All of his movies are out-of-the-box and feel shockingly alive and new, and this is no different. It's certainly bizarre, but the type of film that, honestly, you have no idea where it's going and you can't wait to see what's next. It's truly surprising that a weird, South Korean movie would ever be nominated for an American best movie award. But hell, it deserves it. ***1/2

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2020

1- DUNE: No, I never read the novel, nor the sequels, nor watched the entire David Lynch film. But this is about as epic as epic can get. This year there's not a lot of "big" popcorn films for whatever reason. No "Star Wars" or good Marvel/DC movie. And while this is super expensive and fantasy and has a hero and villain and action and all of that...I kind of doubt anyone under 30 will actually go see this. Has a big budget, art house film ever existed? It's definitely going to be unique. Denis Villeneuve directed, and while the sci-fi movies he's made look great ("Blade Runner: 2049" and "Arrival"), they weren't really that good. This one has a great cast, with Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya, Dave Bautista, Oscar Isaac, Javier Bardem, and Jason Momoa. Should be quite the spectacle. And maybe finally we can all forget about Jodorowsky's "Dune."

2- THE FRENCH DISPATCH: Wes Anderson is back with his first live action picture since the four-star "The Grand Budapest Hotel." This one is about a newspaper and is an anthology, so it's a bunch of short films connected. The cast is massive: Saoirse Ronan, Timothee Chalamet, Bill Murray, Elisabeth Moss, Willem Dafoe, Christoph Waltz, Adrien Brody, Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson, and Benicio Del Toro, among others. Should be another superb, perfect little pretty puzzle box of a film.

3- TENET: Christopher Nolan hasn't made a film since "Dunkirk." His movies are always huge events shrouded in secrecy. From the first trailer, this looks a lot like "Inception," which is a good thing. It's too bad he won't just make Batman movies until the end of time, but I digress. This one stars Denzel Washington's son, who's a terrible actor (he was in Spike Lee's "BlacKKKlansman"). Also Robert Pattinson, who, for whatever reason, has lately been refusing to do anything but weird, usually awesome indie films (granted, he's in the next Batman movie playing Batman). It looks like this is about time travel or something. Should be amusing.

4- NEXT GOAL WINS: At this point, Taiki Waititi can do no wrong. I can't wait for his Star Wars film which will probably come out in, what, six years? He's filming this movie right now in Hawaii. It's like "The Bad News Bears" but this time it's a Samoan soccer team. It stars Michael Fassbender as the coach and also Elisabeth Moss. If this is anything like "Shaolin Soccer" then it might end up the best film of the year.

5- THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND: I admit that, unfortunately, Judd Apatow doesn't make good movies anymore. This one stars Pete Davidson, the funniest "SNL" cast member, though, and is based on his life, so I can't see this not working. Unless it's a train wreck. Get it? The last film he directed was "Trainwreck." Sigh. This should be hilarious. Let's all hope it's not three hours long, though.

6- LAST NIGHT IN SOHO: Edgar Wright is one of my favorite directors of all time, even though "Baby Driver" sucked. This one is a horror movie about fashion and the '70's and stars Thomasin McKenzie (who was great in both "Jojo Rabbit" and "Never Leave a Trace"), Anya Taylor-Joy (who was great in "Thoroughbreds" and "The Witch" and "Split") and Matt Smith. Wright is a master at style and fast-cuts...so this could be a pretty wild and intense ride. 

7- NO TIME TO DIE: Didn't Daniel Craig say he was quitting playing Bond like three movies ago? Either way he's back, and this time we've got a great director in Cary Joji Fukunaga (he directed the first, awesome season of "True Detective" and the best show of 2018, Netflix's "Maniac"). We also get Rami Malek as the big bad. Sure, this'll be the same crap, and sure, I miss the stupid/funny Roger Moore Bond, but this'll at least be entertaining and pretty to look at.

8- ON THE ROCKS: Sofia Coppola seems to be returning to her best film, "Lost in Translation," with a film starring Bill Murray that's about an old, playboy dude and a young mother in New York City. Coppola's films are always interesting and artsy, but she hasn't made anything worthwhile since that Bill Murray Christmas special on Netflix a few years ago (I never did bother to watch her "The Beguiled" remake...and she won a directing trophy at Cannes for it...so maybe I should). Coppola and Murray are the perfect team so this should be great.

9- GODZILLA VS. KONG: I could say that this is Godzilla verse King Kong and isn't that enough for you? But this is also directed by Adam Wingard, who has made a few good horror films in the past ("You're Next" was fun, "Blair Witch" not so much). Let's all pray that this isn't ungodly awful like "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" was. 

10- MANK: David Fincher returns after six long years of collecting money by finally directing another feature film (since 2014's "Gone Girl" he directed a few episodes of "Mindhunter" on Netflix). This one stars Gary Oldman and is about the making of "Citizen Kane." Jesus Christ, just give it all the Oscars already.

THE BEST FILMS OF THE DECADE (2010-2019)

1- DUNKIRK (2017)

2- HOUSE OF PLEASURES (2011)

3- THE TRIBE (2015)

4- EX MACHINA (2015)

5- MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (2015)

6- THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (2014)

7- FRANCES HA (2013)

8- A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT (2014)

9- THIS IS THE END (2013)

 10- THE NICE GUYS (2016)

THE BEST FILMS OF 2019

1- JOJO RABBIT

2- THE NIGHTINGALE

3- WAVES

4- LITTLE WOMEN

 5- PARASITE

6- UNCUT GEMS

7- MIDSOMMAR

8- 1917

9- FYRE: THE GREATEST PARTY THAT NEVER HAPPENED

10- SHADOW

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2019 REVISTED

1- ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD: "But I'm curious; will this be like the rewrite of history that Inglorious Basterds was and we'll have Brad Pitt and DiCaprio hunting down and killing the Manson family members?" I wrote that about this film last January. I guess it was fairly obvious that's how the film would end, but I did predict it. The ending (Pitt and DiCaprio killing the Manson followers) is, kind of surprisingly, the worst moment in the film. It's a geyser of violence and wild but it just doesn't feel right, it feels strange instead of being what's it meant to be; a cathartic change for the better by defeating the boogeyman. I did enjoy some of the story with DiCaprio and Pitt in old Hollywood, and I think a much better film would have involved them without the tired Manson plot overshadowing it. And while the film is too meandering and fairly plotless, "Pulp Fiction" was too but was much, much better. Why? "Pulp Fiction" had better music, better dialogue, and felt fresher. It was also more compelling and had numerous great sequences. I think the ultimate point is that any good artist makes all of their great work early and then fades. Sad but true. **

2- STAR WARS: EPISODE IX: Reviewed. **1/2

3- SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME: The chemistry between Peter Parker, his friend, and his maybe girlfriend, is so fun and entertaining that I kind of wish they'd just go make a buddy comedy without any action featuring those three. And while this is a super entertaining film, it's not as good as the first, and all of the big, sci-fi action spectacle stuff is simply more of the same. ***

4- IT: CHAPTER 2: This is entertaining and well made, and has a stellar performance by Bill Hader, but, man, there's just way too many special f/x in this movie. Do they not realize that a scary clown is good enough? They don't need to have lame special f/x showing him flying around or getting bigger or running around like a spider. I think I liked the first one better but, honestly, they're pretty much the same. **1/2

5- GLASS: Shymalan's last film, "Split," was good, so of course he returns with a bad one. There's a big reveal in this that is just about as dumb as the-monsters-are-just-people-in-costumes twist from "The Village." I saw this a year ago and kind of forget what the reveal even was, that's how fucking incredible it was (something about a corporation that keeps super heroes out of the public view or something?). I didn't really like "Unbreakable" anyway, so I guess I shouldn't have expected much out of the sequel. *

6- THE GOLDFINCH: I said last year that'd it be hard to fuck this up. I said that because the novel wasn't just well written, it also had a great story. Well everyone hated this film so I'm never going to waste my time watching it. Just go read the book. It's a masterpiece.

7- GODZILLA 2: KING OF THE MONSTERS: I never really thought that you could make a boring Godzilla film, but by God they did it. How is that even possible? This one even features other monsters, and the special f/x are great. I guess the problem is the awful plot and awful characters. Just have Godzilla destroying a city, is it that hard? 1/2*

8- THE NEW KING OF COMEDY: Stephen Chow had such a legendary run of awesome, funny, highly entertaining, bonkers, insane, wildly cinematic films that I guess it was bound to end. This film is the type that feels like he was just punching the clock to fulfill a contract or something. It's just lazy. *

9- ZOMBIELAND 2: This is super entertaining. The four main characters are like the trio from "Spider-Man: Far from Home." I'd be just as entertained simply watching them sit in a room and bicker and joke for two hours, forget any kind of plot or action sequences. Alas, the film falls apart by the end during the gigantic action spectacle, but for awhile it's as fun and entertaining as they come. I died laughing at the "Elvis' actual shoes" joke. Hopefully we don't have to wait another ten years for part 3. ***

10- JOKER: I mean...the director of "The Hangover" movies made this...so what did we all really expect? I love Joaquin Phoenix, but even he gives a forgettable performance. I'll give them some advice if they do a sequel: add Batman. **