Director Danny Boyle and writer John Hodge worked together to create some very memorable 90's films; Trainspotting, obviously, but also Shallow Grave, The Beach, and A Life Less Ordinary. The duo was set to make the next James Bond film until creative differences entered the picture and they left the film. While it would be interesting to have seen what their vision for James Bond was, it would have been a hell of a lot more interesting if they had been chosen to make a James Bond film back in the late 90's when their creative juices were at their peak. Can you imagine how weird, cool, bizarre, fun, and wild that would have been? Maybe it would have been a mess, but sadly we'll never know. But the heirs to the James Bond franchise would have at least made a bold choice and tried something new. And that's the huge problem these days with the James Bond films. They're all the fucking same. When the opening credit title sequence starts in the new James Bond film, No Time to Die, I groaned. 'This again?' I thought, as Billie Eilish's boring song played over a typical, been-there-done-that title sequence featuring guns shooting, silhouettes, people falling. These credit sequences are basically a joke these days. At least in the good old days when James Bond movies were fun it didn't bother anyone that they were all the same...but now that they're dour and serious and visually pristine instead of down and dirty, these films have become stagnant and unwelcome. What happened? How do we fix this? Why is this even still a thing?
Your personal favorite James Bond memories are probably something to do with Sean Connery fucking a blonde, killing someone then delivering a wry joke, or saving the day to worldwide cheers. My personal favorite James Bond memories always involve Roger Moore, because those films were awful and stupid but super amusing and entertaining in a total camp sort of way. It's actually really shocking that the fun loving James Bond films of the 60's and 70's have morphed into what occurs at the end of No Time to Die; a super serious, supposed emotional warhorse of a finale. Dude, we just want to see James Bond save the day and get the girl. Why are they attempting to make these, like, real Oscar-worthy affairs? They're dumb spy movies.
When Daniel Craig appeared in the franchise it was a welcome surprise. Casino Royale was fantastic. Quantum of Solace was also fantastic but everyone hated it. Then Sam Mendes made two totally forgettable Bond films: Spectre and Skyfall. Even the producers probably realized they needed to do something different by attempting to get Danny Boyle on board. That failed, although they did bring in Fleabag writer Phoebe Waller Bridges to punch up the script. I'm fairly sure the, "Another child?" joke is hers, as she's a fantastic writer and that's the best line in the film. While the rest of the script for No Time to Die is same-old, they did at least score Cary Joji Fukunaga to direct. He is, without a doubt, one of the best directors working today. I'm still a little mad we never got to see his Stephen King It adaptation that took place in a metropolis. Fukunaga directed the excellent first season of True Detective along with the excellent Netflix series, Maniac. The one good thing about No Time to Die is that visually it looks exceptional. There are so many cool, precise, compelling shots in this film; from the stealth army guys repelling down a building at dusk in London, to the fog filled Norway forest, to the power lines sparking and exploding along a dark Cuban street. The film looks great. And while the story here is the usual, villain-wants-to-kill-the-world bullshit we've seen before, the actors are all top notch. Daniel Craig acts like he's tired of doing this, which he admitted to, but Lea Seydoux is excellent, especially considering she has to act like she's madly in love with a man as old as her father. Mr. Robot, Rami Malek, is at least creepy, but considering he's the big bad it's a shame he doesn't get much to do and is barely in it. The big deal in this film that the woke mob probably has nightmares about is that James Bond has retired and the new 007 is a black woman played by Lashana Lynch. She's forgettable, though Jeffrey Wright and Ana De Armas are great as Bond compadres.
Since the Roger Moore comedy gold is long gone, lately the films have been known for their action sequences. Unfortunately, for a 2 hour and 45 minute movie, there's not a lot of action in this. The opening car chase in a mountainside, Italian town is great...and that's about it. The other action scenes are just random, run-and-gun melees. The first hour of No Time to Die is actually excellent...and then it never really heats up into anything remotely engaging. The huge problem, besides the hour-too-long length, is the atrocious ending. The set up is there. It's as if a pitcher decided to throw a softball to the batter in the bottom of the 9th. The homerun is there for the taking! We've got a villain on his evil island and Bond is going to go after him. How could this ending not be incredible? Well, it is. The ending isn't just underwhelming, it's about as sad as Schindler's List. They do know we've bought our ticket and popcorn to see girls, guns, quips, and action, right? Do we want to leave the theater weeping into a tissue and contemplating our life choices? Who's genius idea was it to end the film like this?
If you're going to just keep making Bond films until the end of time, then fine, do it, but at least make it a fun, enjoyable ride that makes us revel in our happy days of watching gems like The Spy Who Loved Me for the first time. **1/2
