THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2018 REVISITED

1-SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY:  The script is good. Lawrence Kasdan, who wrote "Raiders of the Lost Ark," "The Empire Strikes Back," and "The Return of the Jedi," wrote it with his son. The final product is unfortunately not as good as the script. Ron Howard came on board late as director and it kind of shows. The film feels slapped together and never really achieves a unified whole. It is entertaining in spots, though, has some cool looking set designs, and does feature a great performance by Donald Glover as Lando. **1/2

2- HOLMES & WATSON: This movie was an ultra-bomb. Not only did it fail at the box office, it even failed with both critics and audiences. I didn't see it but bet it's still hilarious. 

3- THE PREDATOR: A disappointment. After Shane Black's masterpiece, "The Nice Guys," what could go wrong? Apparently everything. While it does feature some of Black's trademarks, it mostly seems like just another bad, dumb "Predator" sequel made by an unknown hack that used to direct video game commercials. *1/2

4- FANTASTIC BEASTS: CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD: I enjoyed this, although it's not as good as the original film. Everyone seemed to dislike this film for some reason. ***

5- ISLE OF DOGS: Good film, although not as good as Wes Anderson's live action pictures. And it's not as good as the trailer, as I predicted. ***

6- THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT: Boring. Who makes a movie about a serial killer boring? You'd think it'd be difficult. The movie does have a great last sequence, though, when Jack travels down to hell and tries to cross the bridge back up to Earth. Finally, after two dull hours the movie gets interesting for ten or so minutes. *

7- JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM: This is another movie that a lot of people hated that I thought was super entertaining and awesome. I give up, really. If you think this movie is bad then what the hell did you think of "Jurassic Park 3"? Seriously. The scene of them running down the hill while a volcano is going off and dinosaurs are running past them is one of the best scenes in all of the "Jurassic Park" films. This was sheer popcorn bliss in my eyes. ***1/2

8- EARLY MAN: Amusing, albeit not as funny as Aardman's other works. I'm still laughing thinking about the staring dog from "Shaun the Sheep". **1/2

9- HALLOWEEN: I didn't see this. It got good reviews.

10- X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX: This was pushed to February 2019 and then June of 2019. That doesn't bode well but it still looks great.

THE BEST FILMS OF 2018

1- FREE SOLO

2- EIGHTH GRADE

3- SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

4- JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

5- JULIET NAKED

6- BUMBLEBEE

7- UNDER THE SILVER LAKE

8- THE DEATH OF STALIN

9- A QUIET PLACE

10- YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE

Review: UNDER THE SILVER LAKE

   

     After It Follows, David Mitchell was the hot, indie director to watch. When it was announced that his next film would be a film noir mystery set in modern day Los Angeles, I was excited. That sounded fairly interesting and fairly cool. Mitchell had made a teenage film (The Myth of the American Sleepover) about, well, teenagers doing teenage things like getting drunk and staying out late and falling in love, then he followed that up with a weird horror film (It Follows) about a sexually transmitted disease that was perhaps the exact opposite of what you would think of when imagining a horror film about a sexually transmitted disease (Cabin Fever, this was not). So to now make a film noir feature seemed to cement the fact that Mitchell was definitely a filmmaker to watch. He zagged when you thought he would zig, and he would always come up with something fresh and new. He was going to be a fucking star, huge, a legend. And then the film noir film, Under the Silver Lake, premiered at Cannes earlier this year and all of the air was let out of the balloon. The critics that reviewed it didn't hate it nor love it. They did the worst possible thing: they didn't care about it. It was meant to be forgotten. And now, seven months later, it kind of seems like it has been.
     Under the Silver Lake was deemed too long, too weird, too strange, with flashes of brilliance but ultimately a let down of a film with grand ideas and a bold vision that went nowhere. The studio was set to release it stateside in the summer then pushed it to December and now it's set to be released sometime in April of 2019. I wouldn't be surprised if it never gets released in theaters, if it's the type of film that's decided is unreleasable and simply sent straight to DVD or a streaming site. You might see it pop up one night at 1 AM on Showtime and vaguely remember that, yeah, it's that movie by David Mitchell starring Andrew Garfield and Elvis Presley's granddaughter that never came out. What happened? What went wrong?
     Surprising or not, I'm here to say that Under the Silver Lake is a great film, one of the best I've seen this year. It's also exactly what everyone has said it is: it's long, sure, it's weird, sure, it doesn't make a ton of sense, sure, and most people will fucking hate it's guts. But I was engrossed, captivated, intrigued, and entertained for its entire running time. Maybe it just plays into what I like about films and what others loathe. Or maybe I'm just a sucker for anything that takes me on a bizarre journey that's like nothing you've ever experienced before, or rarely have, if ever. The film reminded me of how it felt reading Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow. That's a book, sure, but the experience of reading it is more akin to taking a new drug for the first time and experiencing something beyond reading mere words or a rudimentary story. Under the Silver Lake is more of an experience than a film. It's not technically a straight mystery film. It's not even technically a straight film, although it does have a primary mystery that's solved amidst so many other tangents unresolved. Ultimately what it is is a film that wraps you up in it's dream like fog and doesn't let go for two hours and fifteen minutes. You don't know where it's going. Every new scene is like opening a new door in Willy Wonka's factory. What the fuck is this? Where are we? Who are these people and strange things? Often it doesn't even matter because it's so thrilling, oft-putting, beautiful, entertaining, and new that you're just enjoying the ride.
     Andrew Garfield plays a typical, L.A. slacker who somehow has a car, apartment, friends, and an affinity to attract beautiful women yet doesn't have a job, prospects, great hygiene, or sense. Early on we find him watching a topless neighbor through binoculars. When his mom calls him he's pretending that he's at work. The world he inhabits is modern day Los Angeles, but there's always something strange on the margins. When he gets coffee at a local coffee shop, a worker is trying to clean off a spray painted message on the front window that reads: "Beware the Dog Killer." When a new, blonde beauty played by Riley Keough shows up at his apartment complex pool, the plot kicks in. Who is she? What's her deal? Things then get weird. And more weird. And while the main mystery of the film is this blonde beauty, there's also the eye-patch pirate, the escort service, the Jesus rock band, the woman-watching pervert with a drone, the underground bunker, the hobo code, and more. The film is so stuffed to the brim with oddities that it often feels like the script wasn’t written with a story or plot in mind, that it just came about when Mitchell wrote down a string of “cool" ideas he dreamt up on random days. And while some of the ideas and scenes work more than others (the song writer scene is just bad), the film is filled with a lot of beautiful imagery and absorbing sequences. I loved the dance scene in the cavernous, cave nightclub on old school music night when REM's "What's the Frequency Kenneth?" is playing. And the naked, owl-masked serial killer that moves like a ballerina with a butcher knife is both frightening and very cool. I guess it's basically to say that this movie is fucking nuts. It deals with secret codes for secret societies but doesn't ever fully make sense or reveal itself to be smart or profound. But it's very interesting, fresh, and kinetically alive. Garfield gives a great performance and is the type of protagonist you'll gladly follow down the rabbit hole with. The big question is: will the viewer go down the rabbit hole as well? The answer so far is no, and that's a shame, as it's nice to see an independent filmmaker finally get the cash to make a big, grand, bonkers vision come alive. Bravo, you strange mother fucker. ***1/2

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2018

1-SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY: Now the Star Wars films are coming out every six months. It's crazy. But I'm a hopeless sucker, still looking forward to this even though The Last Jedi was a disappointment and the worst director in the world, Ron Howard, came on board late to finish this. I did enjoy Howard's last picture, In the Heart of the Sea, so maybe he's become competent later in life. This movie is Han Solo in his twenties. I just can't wait to see Woody Harrelson talk to Chewbaca.

2- HOLMES & WATSON: Will Ferrell is Sherlock Holmes and John C. Reilly is Watson. Ferrell hasn't had a good movie in a long time but this film garners four stars automatically.

3- THE PREDATOR: Shane Black, fresh of his masterpiece, The Nice Guys, is writing and directing a new Predator movie. He was actually in the original, if you remember. And what ever happened to that Robert Rodriguez Predator script? It began on a pirate ship. I'm assuming this will be better.

4- FANTASTIC BEASTS: CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD: I adored the first one but for some reason no one else did. Hmmm. Well this one has Jude Law as a young Dumbledore along with the rest of the usual cast and it takes place in Europe.

5- ISLE OF DOGS: The only Wes Anderson film I didn't like was his only stop-motion animated film, The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Well this is another stop-motion animated film, but it does look incredible. In Japan, dogs are exiled on an island and a boy goes there to find his pup and then adventures occur. I probably should just skip the film because it'll never be better than the amazingly awesome trailer.

6- THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT: It probably should be illegal for Lars Von Trier to make a serial killer movie. Oh, well. I thought his last picture, the double-part Nymphomaniac, was one of his best. This one has a lame cast (Matt Dillon and Uma Thurman) but, c'mon, it's the world's most sadistic director making a serial killer film. Expect subversion in some form or another, as he always surprises.

7- JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM: Back to the island! Why? The problem with this franchise is that once the park is destroyed they always have to come up with a lame reason to return. Just re-open the park with stupid tourists in every movie, who cares? The only good ones were 1 and 4 when that plot occurred. Well it's the same gang back (Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Pratt, some brats)...but this time a volcano is exploding! Eh. Should be fun.

8- EARLY MAN: Aardman Animations is a superior company to Pixar in my opinion. Wallace & Gromit, Chicken Run, The Pirates! Band of Misfits, and Shaun the Sheep are all hilarious and excellent works of art. This one looks like another winner. It's cavemen meeting the early men of civilization. So it's like if stupid cavemen show up in Russell Crowe's Gladiator. It looks glorious.

9- HALLOWEEN: The director of Pineapple Express, Your Highness, and some of the Eastbound & Down and Vice Principals episodes, is writing/directing a re-make of the Michael Myers Halloween film. What...the...fuck? David Gordon Green has made some serious fare, too, but this just sounds insane. And didn't Rob Zombie just re-make parts 1 and 2? This is either going to be a masterwork or a complete, bore of a misfire.

10- X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX: Fuck, yeah. The best actor in the franchise, Sophie Turner, gets the spotlight. She's a mega movie star waiting to happen. And in this she burns the whole world down. Unfortunately, Jean Grey dies in the original story, but this should be a popcorn blast of a film while it lasts.

THE BEST FILMS OF 2017

1- DUNKIRK

2- THE LURE

 3- SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

4- LOGAN LUCKY

5- THE LOST CITY OF Z

6- I,TONYA

7- CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

8-OKJA

9- THE BAD BATCH

10- THOR: RAGNORAK

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2017 REVISITED

1- STAR WARS EPISODE 8: reviewed **1/2

2- KONG: SKULL ISLAND: This has a great opening sequence with two crashed WW2 fighters. The rest is entertaining but never awesome. A great cast and King Kong and monsters sounds like a wild film, right? Unfortunately it was a bit of a disappointment. **

3- JUSTICE LEAGUE: This was a complete mess. The new Barry Allen (The Flash) is terrific and funny. The plot is a been-there-done-that bore, though. I'm probably the only person on earth to say this, but Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice was a hell of a lot better. With Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman all together you would have expected something much more substantial. *1/2

4- ANNIHILATION: This was bumped to the Spring. It looks great and is apparently going to debut on Netflix now.

5- ALIEN: COVENANT: A bad movie. It has a good, interesting, cool looking set up but goes nowhere. The scene with the xenomorph hanging off the spacecraft at the end during the big climax is extremely stupid and silly. Casting comedian Danny McBride in this didn't help, either. Prometheus was a let down but better. How hard is it to make a good Alien film? Apparently incredibly difficult. *1/2

6- SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING: A great film and the best superhero film in some time. The new Spider-Man is note-perfect. The twist ending is awesome. And this is just so much fun. A total blast. ***1/2

7- VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS: Didn't see it yet. It got bad reviews.

8- T2: TRAINSPOTTING: Well it looks great; it's well shot and bright and stylish. The problem is the mediocre script and dull plot. Maybe they had fun getting back together and making it but it ended up being unnecessary and pointless. **

9- THE DARK TOWER: Didn't see it. It got terrible reviews.

10- THOR: RAGNORAK: This was super entertaining and very funny. The Marvel movies have basically become comedies now and I guess that's okay. ***

Review: STAR WARS EPISODE IIX: THE LAST JEDI

     Last year, months before Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, was released, the news got out that the film was going back into production for around a month to re-shoot some of the film. Rumors blazed through the internet about the brass being unhappy with the final product and changes were going to be implemented. The story that made the papers was that they were just doing typical re-shoots and adding some character depth. What really happened is probably only known to those that made the movie, but after the recent Lucasfilm shakeups, I think it's fairly obvious what occurred. Kathleen Kennedy, who took the helm of the studio after George Lucas sold it to Disney, seems like some sort of all-knowing, all-seeing tyrant that only does what she wants and forces those making "her" movies to adhere to her strict guidelines. She seems to be the type of person who, as a child, refused to color outside the lines on principle. The Star Wars franchise is a money printing machine, so I suppose a tyrant to keep people in line is sensible, but is this ultimately a death knell for creativity?
     The third main film in the new trilogy, Episode IX, was supposed to be directed by Jurassic World's Colin Trevorrow. He stepped down (supposedly) before actual shooting the film but being involved for a lengthy period. The reason seemed to be that his vision didn't line up with Lucasfilm's...so they hired JJ Abrams to come back. And next May's Han Solo film replaced its directors (the duo that directed The Lego Movie) with Ron Howard mid-shoot because, again, their vision wasn't right. Who knows why Trevorrow was fired or quit, but it's fairly obvious that Lucasfilm didn't want Solo being a lark in the park comedy fest like The Lego Movie, which it was probably turning out to be until boring Ron Howard righted the ship to vanilla waters.
     This is all typical Hollywood, of course. The bigwigs in their CEO offices make the decisions while the creative folk cower in their lower caste, windowless cells. But if the current Star Wars blitz that will never end (a movie a year forever! a TV show on Disney's streaming service!) is going to be handcuffed by Kathleen Kennedy and the Lucasfilm bigwigs...this, sadly, probably means we won't be getting a great, fresh, original Star Wars movie in the future. Sure, we'll get good, entertaining films like The Force Awakens and Rogue One that basically recycle past glories and old tropes from the originals. You'll still see jedi's and Chewbaca and light saber duels. But what you probably won't be seeing is anything like the original Star Wars; something bold, alien, and thrillingly new. And that's a shame.
     Episode IIX, The Last Jedi, is, unfortunately, not as good as The Force Awakens or Rogue One, though it is light years better than those God-awful prequel monstrosities. It has some entertaining space battles, a well-shot final fight, a great performance by Mark Hamil, but also a lot of miscues, a lot of cringe-inducing silliness, and a lot of dead-end story mistakes. The big problem is that, unlike, say, The Empire Strikes Back, this film is merely just a popcorn movie. It's fun, it's entertaining, but it needs to be reaching to new heights instead of falling back on what's been done before.
     The basic plot in this one has Mark Hamil finally returning as Luke Skywalker. He only showed up in The Force Awakens at the end in the wordless, climax cameo. Well he's back as a depressed, broken old hermit living on an island and given up on being a hero. Let me guess: at the end he turns into the hero and saves the day? I suppose anyone could have written that ending, and, like all of these new Star Wars films, there aren't really any surprises that are worth it. Which means that since The Force Awakens copied the original Star Wars script, this copies Empire. There's no ice monster but there is Luke teaching Rey in the middle of nowhere like grumpy Yoda did with Luke in the swamp in Empire. Instead of Cloud City in Empire we get a casino planet (and a casino planet sounds a lot cooler than it is...what we end up with is fake looking lamas horse racing). And instead of the walkers marching to take down a Rebel base on Hoth like in Empire we get walkers marching to take down a Rebel base on a red salt planet (which is, granted, visually cool). There's also the will-you-join-the-dark-side fight/argument like in Empire between Vader and Luke but here it's between Rey and Kylo Ren. And while some of the dark side/Jedi stuff is played as being super serious and earth shatteringly relevant, it doesn't mesh well with the fact that writer/director Rian Johnson (who's first feature, the High School noir, Brick, is terrific) has made a lot of this film a knee-slapping comedy. I did laugh. A lot of this is hilarious, but it's hard to have Empire-style Vader/Luke hand-cutting-off drama when you're busy cracking jokes along the way. You either want it to be high drama or a typical, fun summer popcorn spectacle. You can't really do both and still get a masterpiece result unless you're a master. And Rian Johnson proves that while he's a good director, he's no George Lucas.
     I suppose if you're a kid then this is all new and fresh and cool, but it really feels like they're not even trying too hard. Adam Driver, as the Vader-esque Kylo Ren, does seem to be doing a better job acting wise in this than in The Force Awakens, although by the end he doesn't exactly come across as any sort of great evil to care about. Oscar Isaac, as the Han Solo-esque Poe Dameron, is great, and Hamil fucking kills it, albeit in the ultimate let-down of a story he's given to work with. The rest of the new cast in this trilogy is a fun, amusing bunch, but are they enough to carry their own into the final film? Carrie Fisher is dead and they killed off Han Solo in the last one. Yoda shows up in this as a ghost so I suppose they can still lamely bring back some of the old crew as lively, encouraging spirits in the final go round. But who the hell wants to see that? The whole point of bringing back Luke, Leia, and Han was to, you know, have a movie with them together. They screwed that up by not having Luke in The Force Awakens until the last shot and now it's too late. What was once a promising reunion turned into this; an entertaining, mildly amusing new trilogy that, sadly, could've, should've, would've been something a lot better. **1/2