THE ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATIONS (BEST PICTURE) REVIEWS

THE FATHER: 2020 was obviously a fucked year for Hollywood. Pretty much everything after February except for Tenet went straight to your TV screen instead of a movie theater. But while most of the Hollywood blockbusters were postponed, I don't think too many Oscar-type films were (Wes Anderson's The French Dispatch and Spielberg's West Side Story might have been in the mix). So without a huge blockbuster like Titanic steamrolling through the Academy Awards, expect zero ratings and minimal chatter this year. They also postponed the show two months for no good reason (I guess so Judas & the Black Messiah could be nominated?). The Father is the only film on this list that went straight to theaters. It isn't even being released on demand until next week. This one stars Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Coleman. Hopkins is terrific as a man with dementia and Coleman is his daughter who's hesitant to put him in a home. It was adapted from a 2012 play...which means it's mostly talking with very little plot, action, or...well, much of anything besides Hopkins chewing the scenery. It's a short movie and it's good but there's not much to it. Hopkins is great but it kind of feels like retreading the same ground Haneke's Amour did...and that was much better. **1/2

JUDAS & THE BLACK MESSIAH: This went straight to HBO Max. It's about Fred Hampton, a Black Panther that was murdered by the Chicago police. The film is well made, well acted, and looks terrific. It's also kind of boring. The story the movie is based on is so interesting that I kind of would have rather watched a documentary about it. Lakeith Stanfield gives a great performance as an undercover FBI informant, although honestly he pretty much plays the same character he does in FX's Atlanta. **1/2

MANK: For whatever reason, I loved this film and nobody else did. Maybe it's because it's about a writer and I'm a writer plus I love old Hollywood. I also love David Fincher's films...and Gary Oldman...and Amanda Seyfried. So this movie is kind of perfect for me. The script, by Fincher's now dead dad, is terrific. I actually put on the closed captioning while watching this just so I could catch all of the witty lines (Gary Oldman also mumbles his lines because he's supposed to be an old drunkard). The picture, in black and white, looks phenomenal. This was my 3rd favorite film of 2020...but the first two (Palm Springs and The King of Staten Island) weren't nominated for anything so this is the only horse in the race I'm rooting for. ***1/2

MINARI: This is the tale of Korean immigrants trying to make it in mid-west America in the 80's. It's a good film but kind of dull in a lot of aspects. Steven Yeung, of The Walking Dead fame, stars as the father. It never quite hits that emotional peak it attempts to achieve for whatever reason. **1/2

NOMADLAND: This is the favorite, and one of the better films on the list. Francis McDormand stars as a lady without a home who travels around the country working out of a van. Obviously, the scenery is spectacular and the director Chloe Zhao has done a good job at repurposing the non-fiction book into a drama that also stars some real people playing themselves. I still can't believe they got Zhao to make a Marvel movie after this. ***

PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN: This is also one of the better films nominated. It's a rape-revenge film, a genre that some women are uneasy about but has kind of blossomed after #metoo. I guess the uneasiness lies in the fact that women would rather have rapists accept their crimes and apologize instead of victims having to become superhero murderers and turn into criminals themselves. Carrie Mulligan stars as a defeated, broken, shell of a woman that still lives with her parents and secretly goes out at night to clubs, pretends she's too drunk to stand, and when the men take her home to take advantage of her she shocks them by showing that she's not drunk and makes them admit they're monsters and will have to change their ways. It's an interesting premise and the script is well done. Bill Burnham steals the movie as Carrie's new boyfriend and it's too bad he wasn't nominated. The ending doesn't entirely work, but it's at least as strange, weird, and exciting as the rest of the film. ***

SOUND OF METAL: This movie is about a drummer in a metal band that starts losing his hearing. I didn't really like this movie at all. It's not terrible or anything, it's just not that compelling. Riz Ahmed got nominated for Best Actor and he's okay but the only reason he probably deserves a pat on the back is because he learned sign language. All of the elements of an emotional, heartbreaking, Rocky-esque, rising-like-a-phoenix-from-the-ashes masterpiece are there...but the film never gets to that level. **

THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7: Picture the gritty, bloody, confusing, chaos of the infamous Chicago Democratic Convention riots in 1968 and then slap of coat of Hollywood gloss over it and you get this movie. I usually enjoy Aaron Sorkin's screenplays, but this one just doesn't pop like The Social Network. The entire movie just feels too sanitized and safe. It's about dirty hippies in the 60's but looks and feels like an episode of Law & Order from this century. Sasha Baron Cohen got nominated for his role playing Abbie Hoffman...but he was a hell of a lot better playing Borat but wasn't nominated for that (his co-star was). I did watch this whole film so I guess it's not awful, it's just disappointing thinking what it could've been. **

 

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2021

1- UNTITLED PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON FILM: I decided not to include any of the postponed films that are coming out in 2021 that I had on last years list. Surprisingly, I still had to cut out a bunch of films to make 10, anyway. And "Dune" is still probably #1...but we're getting a new Paul Thomas Anderson film this year, which doesn't happen very often. His last movie, "Phantom Thread," wasn't his best, but even his lesser films are at least fresh and exciting and intriguing. This one is about a child actor in 70's California. Bradley Cooper stars and the kid is played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman's son. 

2- UNTITLED SPIDER-MAN SEQUEL: When the new Wonder Woman got some negative reviews, I noted that, hell, if it was up to me every superhero movie would be either a Batman or Spider-Man movie and forget about all the rest. So of course I'm excited about a new Tom Holland Spider-Man film. This one is a Spider-Verse film, meaning some of the actors from previous films will be in it, like Alfred Molina as Doc Ock, Jamie Fox as Electro, and Andrew Garfield as the last Spider-Man. The trio of Holland, the Asian sidekick, and Zendaya is note-perfect...so another film with those three should make this another super entertaining, popcorn extravaganza. 

3- MONA LISA AND THE BLOOD MOON: Ana Lily Amirpour is one of the best writers/directors working today. "A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night" is a masterpiece and "The Bad Batch" is fucking bonkers in all the right ways. She hasn't made a movie in a long time, so it'll be a welcome sight to finally see her new one. They shot this in New Orleans. Kate Hudson stars and it's about a girl with psychic abilities who escapes a mental asylum. Amirpour is also supposedly making an all female "Cliffhanger" reboot. Not that you could make the original any better, but still, it'll be interesting.

4- THE SUICIDE SQUAD: Hollywood could've made Harley Quinn as big and as popular as Batman...but so far her movies are 0-2. The first "Suicide Squad" was awful and "Birds of Prey" was unwatchable. Will James Gunn be able to redeem her? He did, after all, make two hugely entertaining "Guardians of the Galaxy" films. The only reason this movie is coming out before "GOTG 3" is because of idiots on Twitter. The cast is truly insane in this film. Pete Davidson, Sylvester Stallone, Taiki Waititi, and John Cena star. Huh? If this is even half as fun as "GOTG" then it'll be a blast. 

5- THE MATRIX 4: The Wachowski's last film, "Jupter Ascending," was the worst big budget film I've ever seen...and perhaps the worst film period I've ever seen. Yeah, so why is this on the list? Who knows? I didn't even really like any of the "Matrix" films except for that awesome care chase scene in #2. David Mitchell, one of the best current writers on the planet, co-wrote the script for this, which might help (or not...as his writing is good because of the style and flow and sentence structure, not really plot). Lana Wachowski directed this, so her sister is mysteriously not on board, though the rest of the original cast is. I can't even remember how they ended part 3. But I'm really fucking curious to see what the hell this is.

6- NIGHTMARE ALLEY: Guillermo Del Toro is back, this time with a remake of a circus freak flick from 1947. Bradley Cooper, Rooney Mara, and Cate Blanchett star. This is Del Toro's first film since he won all the Oscars for "The Shape of Water." His movies are always beautiful and weird and this one should be another wonderful addition to the managerie.

7- THE NORTHMAN: I'll admit that I didn't think "The Witch" or "The Lighthouse" were that great. But they were bizarre and original and Robert Eggers is kind of like David Lynch in that even if his films aren't that great you still want to see what the hell is he's going to do next. This one is about Vikings in the 10th century and has Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke, and Bjork. What was the last Bjork film? "Dancer in the Dark?" This should be, at the very least, interesting.

8- DECISION TO LEAVE: Chan Wook Park is back. He doesn't make too many movies (his last, "The Handmaiden" came out in 2016). The last thing he directed was that boring AMC show, "The Little Drummer Girl." But Park is one of my favorite directors, mostly thanks to "Oldboy." His movies are always intricate and gorgeous and often grisly. This one is about a detective on a murder case and the dead guy's widow. 

9- THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH: First we get Lana Wachowski ditching her sister, now we get Joel Coen ditching his brother. What the heck is going on in the world (besides the pandemic, riots, etc.)? Coen directs this without his brother for some odd reason. Although the Coen brothers haven't made a good movie in years, so maybe that's for the best. This one stars Denzel Washington as MacBeth and Frances McDormand (who's definitely getting the Oscar for "Nomadland") as Lady MacBeth. Will this be super serious? Because "MacBeth" is. But the Coen's movies are usually comedies. Mostly. Still, it sounds intriguing and should be an acting tour-de-force.

10- MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 7: They should run Tom Cruise's rant over the end credits. And I can't believe they made 7 of these movies. Is Hollywood that much out of ideas? They should have created a new spy character and created a fresh franchise instead of just remaking a TV show. It's too late now, though. The last "M:I" film was spectacular, so with the same crew back this one should be just as wild and fun. Cruise's "Top Gun" sequel is also coming out this year, so get used to seeing him all over everywhere, whether you like it or not. 

THE BEST FILMS OF 2020

1- THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND

                                         2- PALM SPRINGS

                             

                                       3- MANK

                                 4- TENET

                                       

                                5- BORAT SUBSEQUENT MOVIEFILM

                                          6- LOVERS ROCK

                                 7- PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN

                               8- NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS

                                                     9- NOMADLAND

                            10- KAJILLIONAIRE

THE TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2020 REVISITED

 1- DUNE: Well the pandemic really fucked up this list. Most of the movies scheduled in 2020 were never released and the ones that were mostly went straight to your television set. "Dune" was postponed a full year even though it's finished and just sitting on a shelf somewhere. I did finally read the book, which was good, and started watching the David Lynch film (I haven't finished it yet because most of it is terrible). Considering the Lynch film isn't that great and they followed the book closely...will this version be any better? They did release a trailer for it and it looks amazing. It's also set to premiere on HBO next Fall. 

2- THE FRENCH DISPATCH: This was postponed indefinitely with no release date in sight. Oh, well.

3- TENET: Reviewed. ***1/2

4- NEXT GOAL WINS: Supposedly the film is finished but I haven't heard anything about it so who knows. 

5- THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND: This was one of if not the best film of 2020. The only nitpick is that, like all of Judd Apatow's films, it's too long. It's super entertaining, though, funny, charming, and has a great cast. This went straight to On Demand for $19.99 so they probably lost all their money. ***1/2

6- LAST NIGHT IN SOHO: This was postponed with no release date or trailer in sight.

7- NO TIME TO DIE: This was also postponed multiple times. Netflix supposedly offered them $200 million dollars for it and they turned them down. It looks great from the trailer. I think it's supposed to come out in May.

8- ON THE ROCKS: This went straight to Apple+, a streaming service no one has. This was disappointing. Bill Murray is great but the script is lazy and not very good. **

9- GODZILLA VS. KONG: This was postponed and is set to premiere on HBO in May.

10- MANK: This went straight to Netflix and is fantastic. This has a great script and a great performance by Gary Oldman. The set direction and photography are top notch. I'd say this will probably win every Oscar but Hollywood hates Netflix. ***1/2

Review: TENET

    It's September 1st and the summer movie season has finally started. I suppose that tells you everything you need to know about this year, definitely the strangest one that's occurred while I've been alive anyway. And the first, big movie out of the gate after movie theaters closed for six months is pretty fitting for these times we find ourselves in since Tenet is dark, weird, bizarre, and plays with reality and time in ways that feel apt for our current situation. I'm sure more than once you've stopped what you were doing this year to ponder the absurdity and profoundness of 2020. Is this all really going on? I can't believe that this is actually happening. Often it feels like a waking nightmare, like the world has shifted in certain senses and suddenly everything we thought we knew is wrong. Tenet is probably also a perfect fit for these dire times since the hero has to breathe through a mask to survive for much of the film. But the big question is: if a perfectly apt film for our current world is in theaters, will anyone actually venture out to go and see it? I'm not the only one wondering that.
     When the pandemic hit, many forecasted the end times for pretty much everything; movie theaters, restaurants, classrooms, handshakes. So far, none of that has come to pass, although probably the same gloomy predictions were made back in 1918, too, yet we all know about the Roaring 20's that followed that last global pandemic which should give one a beacon of hope to cling onto. Movie theaters did close around here, in the Philly suburbs, for six months, until they recently began to open two weeks ago at the end of August when Russel Crowe's revenge picture, Unhinged, was the first to open in movie theaters since March. In Philly, movie theaters aren't allowed to open until September 8th, so they're missing out on the big premiere's of Unhinged, the poor man's X-Men flick, The New Mutants, and now Tenet.
     Tenet was always one of the big films on the 2020 calendar, even though postponed films yet to open like Black Widow and Wonder Woman 1984 probably would have dwarfed it's box office. The reason is that Christopher Nolan wrote and directed Tenet, and every movie he makes these days is a mega big deal and mega big event. There aren't many directors like that anymore. Spielberg, Tarantino, and Scorsese are kind of the last of that dying breed, as the big money maker movies and big event movies of the last few years have all been superhero films that aren't exactly promoted by the writers/directors behind them. Nolan is also unique in that his films aren't just silly, entertaining popcorn movies...he makes movies that philosophy professors could probably write books about.
     Making "smart" big-budget Hollywood blockbusters is obviously a hard road to travel on, and Nolan certainly has had his ups and downs in his career. His Batman trilogy was more realistic than comic book, which meant, at least for me, the most successful one was the one that felt most like a comic book (Batman Begins). Inception was wild but didn't entirely work, whereas Interstellar was way too silly to even bother taking serious. Nolan's best film will probably always be Dunkirk, simply because he threw out all of the metaphysics jargon and philosophical tendencies and just made a gorgeous war picture. Tenet seems to be Nolan at his purest form. It's a film featuring Nolan's greatest hits: a huge budget (over $200 million), a "too smart for school" script, playing with time, a real world feel without green screens or a plethora of CGI, and characters so cool and sterile in their mood and mannerisms that they seem to have dropped out of a Calvin Klein fashion spread.
     As for the plot...supposedly when the three main stars, Denzel Washington's son, Edward from Twilight, and Elizabeth Debicki (from Steve McQueen's Widows), first read the script they had to be locked in a room so the script didn't get stolen and leaked. After seeing the film, I'm baffled that they even bothered to do this. I couldn't even explain the plot to you and I just watched the movie. The easiest way to describe Tenet is to say...what if Christopher Nolan was hired to make the next Mission: Impossible film? He'd make something like this. You could probably easily summarize the film by saying that it's a hero like James Bond or Ethan Hunte battling a supervillain that gets his hand on a time traveling device. Now that's in lament's terms. What goes on in this film isn't exactly time travel, it's that a device was created that can make things go backwards, meaning things like bullets, cars, people, smoke (Nolan definitely loves shots of swirling smoke drifting backwards from huge plumes dwindling down to nothing). And sure, by the end of this, when a huge army is walking backwards in a desert war zone, it is fairly silly (and it would make an amusing SNL sketch...but even that'd be tricky to get just right). And while the big common denunciation of the film is that it's ultimately confusing, I think because it's overtly complicated is one of the reasons why it works so well. When the main character, John David Washington, goes through a machine to become "inverted" and enters this new, strange world where he's living backwards, it definitely gives you a visceral thrill of watching a movie that not's only exciting but also fresh, bold, and new. And that same feeling pulses throughout this film while most films are usually just by-the-numbers and typical. This is an excellent film that might make more sense after you saw it a hundred times, or might actually be something that if you watched it a lot you'd just be able to spot all of the ludicrous plot holes.
     While the film is confusing (also, as has been noted across the internet, terrible in the dialogue sound department...but the amazing music score kind of makes up for that a bit), the best thing the film has going for it are the big set pieces. It looks like Nolan bankrupted a studio making this film. He bought an actual Boeing 747 just to crash it. He built a city in the desert out by Palm Springs to stage a war. He actually got thousands of extras to play dead in an opera house. And when you pay $15 bucks to get off your ass and go to the movies and forget about Netflix, you kind of want to see something big and bold and epic...and Tenet is definitely a big, bold, epic movie that you don't see too often.
     As for the drawbacks, John David Washington proves yet again he's a terrible actor (he was also terrible in BlacKKKlansman...he acts like he's reading cue cards). It's also true that Elizabeth Debicki and him have zero chemistry together, although Robert Pattinson shows why he's one of the best actors working these days (and has one hell of an agent, as his track record making good movies post-Twilight has been impeccable), and Kenneth Branagh does good work as the vile villain.
     Tenet is not perfect, but it's super engaging, even if you're lost in the woods for long stretches of it. Seemingly every time a character turns a corner something unique and creative occurs, and Nolan and crew have done an amazing job at producing such a cool and realistic looking mind-bending, adrenaline-rush of a film.
     After six months of not going to the movies, and three months of missing out on the usual summer movie season we all love, it was great to finally go back. If movies this wild and grandiose and labyrinthine and intriguing keep coming out, I kind of doubt the movie theater experience will ever die. ***1/2



   

Review: PENINSULA

    Last week, Warner Brothers finally postponed Tenet, the big-budget Christopher Nolan sci-fi action picture, indefinitely. And with that, the Hollywood summer of 2020 was officially over. While the summer movie season this year didn't look that great to begin with, we did miss out on Top Gun 2 (oh, God, why?), another Fast & Furious film (is this like #12 or something ridiculous? Do people not have new ideas?), a Wonder Woman sequel set in 1984 for some reason and starring a villain that's a cheetah played by Kristen Wiig (no...not making that up), and Marvel's annual, big, dumb, instant-money printing machine blockbuster, Black Widow, that, honestly, nobody ever wanted to see in the first place. Every movie was postponed to either later in the year or next year except for Tenet. Christopher Nolan had written an op-ed in the LA Times back in March proclaiming that we need to help movie theater owners out...so Warner Brothers kind of half-heartedly kept Tenet on the schedule for July 14th. Then the corona virus never went away and then got worse and worse so Tenet was moved to the end of July and then to a Wednesday in August and then, finally, was just taken off the schedule and will be released eventually, sometime, who-the-fuck-knows when. What will probably happen is it will open in other countries first because a)movies tend to make a lot of money in countries like China and b)the U.S. has one of the worst cases of the corona virus thanks to many factors including a)a dumb president, b)dumb governors, and c)dumb citizens. It's already July 27th and we kind of already realized that going to movie theaters in 2020 was a no-go since March when the new James Bond movie was pushed all the way from April to Thanksgiving and A Quiet Place 2, the year's first probably mega-hit set to be released on March 17th, was postponed until September 5th (since then it's been moved to 2021). Movies didn't go away of course. Every week new movies come out On Demand, some that were supposed to be released in theaters, some that just were meant for home viewing all along. And some were fantastic, like Andy Samberg's Palm Springs and Pete Davidson's The King of Staten Island. Others were duds, like Tom Hank's Greyhound. But what we all want is that big, summer, popcorn movie, right? A huge, brain dead, big budget spectacle that cost millions to make and is chock full of special f/x and you go see it on a Friday night with a packed house and it's a hell of a good time. Is that...lost? Apparently not, because Peninsula, the sequel to the smash hit South Korean zombie picture, Train to Busan, opened in theaters last week somewhere and it's already a major hit. It's action packed, filled to the brim with special f/x, is super dumb, super entertaining, and is pretty much a mash-up of Escape from New York and The Walking Dead. Fuck. Sign me up.
     Peninsula has already made $26.5 million total and has made $20 million in South Korea. To put that in perspective, the U.S.'s #1 movie of this past weekend, Dave Franco's semi-entertaining slasher pic, The Rental, made a whopping $400,000 from 251 theaters (most of them are drive-in theaters I'm assuming...as the only theater I know open and playing it is the drive in near Scranton). This means that on the other side of the world there was a presumably packed Friday night showing of Peninsula where people were enjoying their summer popcorn extravaganza experience. Those bastards.
     And maybe that's one reason why I loved Peninsula...because I'm going through summer movie season withdrawal. Because Peninsula is certainly not a great movie or great work of art. Nope, it's a big, dumb popcorn film that's pure entertainment and nothing else. Story? Characters? Great dialogue? Who needs 'em when you've got a twenty minute chase sequence through a Korean city while plowing through herds of zombies? Did I also mention that this film has a gladiator/cage match sequence with prisoners verse zombies? Could this film get any cooler?
     Train to Busan was a huge South Korean hit...so much so that it made a lot of money worldwide and is still mentioned online when websites mention "The Best Foreign Films on Netflix" or whatever the eye-catching headline is that day. It came out during the zombie craze, back when The Walking Dead was the #1 show on cable. Train to Busan was basically a zombie action movie that was set mostly on a train. It was so great that I vaguely even remember what happened or who was in it or how it ended. Peninsula is a sequel but it takes place 4 years later so it has an all new cast and a new plot. Four years later, South Korea is a walled off, quarantined peninsula where zombies roam free and supposedly no humans are left. A few Koreans that got out decide for some reason to take up a gangster's plan to go into the quarantined country to get a million bucks that has been sitting in a truck for four years. Of course when they get there they find out that there are people still trapped inside and fending for their lives and living like it's Mad Max: Thunderdome. There's a gang of evil, seedy men that have a compound in the city and enjoy their nights watching cage fights between men and zombies. There's also children that can drive cars like they just watched Baby Driver...which makes no sense considering the highways are filled with abandoned cars and, well, zombies. How could you drive ten feet let alone be involved in a twenty minute car chase? Logic is not this film's strong suit. Sang-ho Yeon, who also directed the original and directed and co-wrote Peninsula, knows how to entertain, though, which certainly helps a film with some truly lame sap. I truly had no idea what this sequel would be like once I started watching it, but the idea they came up with is fantastic. Yes, it rips off Escape from New York and Mad Max and World War Z and just about everything ever but it's wildly entertaining and super engrossing. Kim Min-Jae, as the crazy, evil soldier, gives a ridiculously crazy over the top performance as well.
     This might not be great, memorable, anything new, fresh, or brilliant...but it's the only summer movie popcorn film we got...and thankfully it's a wild fucking ride. ***

THE ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATIONS (BEST PICTURE) REVIEWS

FORD V FERRARI: For the second straight year, I saw every film nominated for Best Picture when the nominations were released. You can probably thank the internet for this, as most of these end up online illegally while still in theaters, although Marriage Story and The Irishman were released on Netflix. I did actually go to a movie theater to see Little Women, 1917 (that was an early, free screening), and Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood. Three of the films that were nominated will end up on my Best of the Year list, which is usually out of the ordinary. The only film I didn't like at all was Joker, which, unsurprisingly, got the most nominations of any film. Ford v Ferrari is probably the slickest, most pure Hollywood film of all the nominees. It's basic, edgeless, and oh-so vanilla. Christian Bale is terrific in it, as he always is, but other than that there isn't much to recommend. The story is interesting, although it's such a good story that I'd actually have rather watched a documentary with the real footage of everything. The film is mildly entertaining but makes a crucial mistake late by ending on the wrong note. **1/2

THE IRISHMAN: At three and a half hours, this feels more like a TV mini-series than a movie (it probably doesn't help that everyone watched it on TV on Netflix). While it is engrossing and a good film, it's no Goodfellas, which was the type of movie that was kinetic and alive and thrilling. This is slow, methodical, though it does have a great performance by Al Pacino as Jimmy Hoffa and a good performance by the returning Joe Pesci. One major problem is having Robert Deniro play the same character as a young man and an old man with only lame, fake looking special f/x to differentiate his youth. Anyone (and there are a lot of them) saying this is a masterpiece and one of Scorsese's best is either a fool or just has to go back and watch Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, or Goodfellas again to realize how idiotic they are. ***

JOJO RABBIT: I loved this film, but that's not a big surprise as I'm a fan of everything Taiki Waititi does. This film has been loved by audiences and loathed by a number of critics. I guess critics don't like zany humor involving Hitler. Critics want serious, smart humor? I guess those same critics dislike The Three Stooges. Or maybe it is just that this is a comedy romp while also being about Hitler and the horrors of WW2. I don't know...I thought this movie was creative as hell, laugh out loud hilarious, and had a great script. It's super entertaining and made me cry, and I loved the ending. It's one of the year's best. ***1/2

JOKER: I still can't figure out why anyone liked this movie. Maybe it's because I read comic books, so a dark, serious, sadomasochistic Joker without Batman around isn't exactly anything new. It's new to those who found this take fresh and bold, which it isn't. It's The King of Comedy and Taxi Driver combined, that's all it is. And I can't possibly be the only one that thinks a Batman movie without Batman is a dumb idea, right? I think that Joaquin Phoenix is the best actor on the planet but even I thought his performance was forgettable and uninteresting. The movie held my interest and isn't exactly boring, but it wallows in its grimness and story-wise there isn't anything there. **

LITTLE WOMEN: This is a great film, nearly flawless. It was nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Film, got a Best Actress nomination for Saorise Ronan, and got a Best Supporting Actress nomination for Florence Pugh (who might just be the best actress working today, as she was terrific in Midsommar). So of course Greta Gerwig wasn't nominated for Best Director. Jesus Christ, Hollywood hates women unless they're taking off their clothes, don't they? This film is gorgeous to look at, wildly engaging, funny, heartfelt, and has such a great cast that fits together like a glove. I guess the only real problem I have is that this book has been adapted multiple times and Gerwig is such a creative person, why the fuck didn't she just make something original instead? ***1/2

MARRIAGE STORY: While it's very well done and well written and well acted, it's also super depressing and sad. So probably only watch this if afterwards you want to slit your wrists. The best scene is Adam Driver singing a song from Sondheim's Company in a piano bar...which made me ponder why writer/director Noah Baumbach didn't just make a film adaptation of Company instead. Baumbach and Gerwig have been dating for years and both of their films were nominated for Best Picture but not Best Director. Does Hollywood hate this power couple for some reason? ***

1917: Reviewed. ***

ONCE UPON A TIME...IN HOLLYWOOD: I briefly reviewed this when I ranked it last on my Quentin Tarantino Movies Ranked list. It's not bad, just too meandering and about half as good as Tarantino at his best. **

PARASITE: Finally the best director working today, Boon Jo-Hong, gets his due. This film already won the Palm D'or at Cannes, so I guess he already did (and he ain't fucking winning this). The reason that this film is probably better than anything nominated is the fact that it's original. It's set in modern times, is unique, is definitely of-the-moment, and is chock full of surprises, twists, and turns, and has a hell of great end note. All of his movies are out-of-the-box and feel shockingly alive and new, and this is no different. It's certainly bizarre, but the type of film that, honestly, you have no idea where it's going and you can't wait to see what's next. It's truly surprising that a weird, South Korean movie would ever be nominated for an American best movie award. But hell, it deserves it. ***1/2