(reviewed at marple 10 on Sunday, november(to remember) 7th with stu & morton)
If you blame anyone for the mess that is The Bone Collector, blame Thomas Harris, the reclusvie author of The Silence of the Lambs. When that film hit the silver screens, serial killers became chic. It won an Oscar for Best Picture even though it did not deserve to, and became one of the biggest hits in the 1990’s. Now everyone knows who Hannibal ‘The Cannibal’ Lecter is. This past June the sequel to The Silence of the Lambs hit bookstores, and to everyone's shock, the book fucking sucked. Thomas Harris had created an evil, menacing, unforgettable villain played to perfection by Sir Anthony Hopkins, only to put him in a novel where he’s about as scary as the fucking Easter bunny. Harris ruined the entire aura surrounding Lambs, and in doing so, it has come full circle. Serial killer movies are done with.
Denzel Washington stars as Lincoln Rhyme (it is easy to tell a bad movie by how ridiculous the main character’s name is), a forensic cop in New York City. His job is more or less to go into dark subway tunnels to find corpses. He ends up paralyzed and is stuck writing true crime books. A fresh faced rookie cop played by the red hot Angelina Jolie is working the police beat when she comes across a guy buried alive near train tracks. The killer is leaving clues so they get Lincoln Rhyme to help out and they use the hot babe to do the leg work since he’s well…paralyzed. The reason The Bone Collector is an awful movie is because you will swear that you have seen the film before. There is not one second in the film that is fresh, that is new, that is exciting or interesting. The serial killer drives a taxi cab and leaves clues that the cops must discover before another body is found. Is it me, or do the cops always solve the clues? It would be great to see some dumb cops who don’t solve the clues, because it would be closer to real life and at least something you haven’t seen before.
Denzel has officially become a horrible actor in my book. A good actor usually acts well and picks good films. Denzel is an okay actor but he picks the worst movies. Remember last year’s The Siege? That was one of the worst movies ever made. And to add salt to the bleeding wound, the only difference between Denzel’s character in The Siege and The Bone Collector is that in this flick he’s paralyzed. Oh wait, I didn’t mention that he can move his index finger so it’s easy to use a computer mouse.
Hollywood has really fucked up this time. A bad script, same-old plot, boring beginning, middle, and end, and the finale is laughable. The audience hated this film. I agree wholeheartedly. –NO STARS-
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